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The graph below gives information about changes in the birth and death rates in New Zealand between 1901 and 2101. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below gives information about changes in the birth and death rates in New Zealand between 1901 and 2101. l6eX
The line graph illustrates the variation in birth and death rate in New Zealand between 1901 and 2101. Overall, the birth and death rates are indicated in thousands. These rates have been fluctuated from the year 1901 to 2101. Where the death rates are lesser than birth rate. In the year 1901 the birth rate were 20, 000 and the count has been increased slightly in the following years. In the year 1961 the birth rate reached at the peak in between 60, 000 to 70, 000 and suddenly declined to nearly 45000 in the year 2101. Whereas, the death rates were increased year after year. More than 50, 000 people were died in the year 2101. In the year 1901 less than 10, 000 people died and the death rate increased thereafter.
The line graph illustrates the variation in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
and death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
in New Zealand between 1901 and 2101.

Overall
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
and death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
are indicated
in thousands. These
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rates
have
been fluctuated
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1901 to 2101.
“Where” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Where
the death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
are lesser than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
. In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1901 the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
were 20, 000 and the count has
been increased
slightly
in the following years. In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1961 the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
reached at the peak in between 60, 000 to 70, 000 and
suddenly
declined to
nearly
45000 in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2101.

Whereas, the death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
were increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
after
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year
. More than 50, 000
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2101. In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1901 less than 10, 000
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
and the death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
increased thereafter.

IELTS academic The graph below gives information about changes in the birth and death rates in New Zealand between 1901 and 2101.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
133 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • The graph below gives information about changes in the birth and death rates in New Zealand between 1901 and 2101. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.