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the table below shows the number of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and after it was refurbished. the charts show the result of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visits, during the same two periods. make comparison where relevant.

the table below shows the number of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and after it was refurbished. the charts show the result of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visits, during the same two periods. make comparison where relevant. mn2q
Given are figures illustrating the total number of visitors to Ashdown Museum before and after its reconstruction as well as the proportion of visitors satisfaction in both periods. It is evident from the information supplied that while the majority of people were dissatisfied before the museum’s refurbishment, they were satisfied after its development. Moreover, the number of visitors increased after the museum’s redesigned. As shown by the charts, 40% of visitors were dissatisfied before refurbishment, whereas this proportion decreased significantly to 15% after development. As such, the percentage of satisfied people rose to 40% after redesigned. Also noteworthy is that the percentage of very satisfied individuals soared from 15% to 35%. It is clear that the minority of visitors were very dissatisfied before refurbishment ( at 10%); however, this proportion declined by 5% after reconstruction. Meanwhile, the number of people who did not respond to the survey remained unchanged. It is evident that people tend to visit the ashdown Museum more than before since the total number of visitors climbed from 74000 to 92000.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
are figures illustrating the total
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number
of
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visitors
to
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Ashdown
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Museum
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before
and after its reconstruction
as well
as the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
satisfaction in both periods.

It is evident from the information supplied that while the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were dissatisfied
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before
the
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museum’s
refurbishment, they
were satisfied
after its development.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
increased after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum’s
redesigned.

As shown by the charts, 40% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
were dissatisfied
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
refurbishment, whereas this proportion decreased
significantly
to 15% after development. As such, the percentage of satisfied
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
rose to 40% after redesigned.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
noteworthy is that the percentage of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
satisfied individuals soared from 15% to 35%.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the minority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
dissatisfied
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
refurbishment
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
at 10%);
however
, this proportion declined by 5% after reconstruction. Meanwhile, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who did not respond to the survey remained unchanged.

It is evident that
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people
tend to visit the
Possible spelling mistake found.
ashdown
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Museum
more than
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before
since the total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
climbed from 74000 to 92000.
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IELTS academic the table below shows the number of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and after it was refurbished. the charts show the result of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visits, during the same two periods. make comparison where relevant.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
174 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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Task Achievement: 5.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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