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The grap beloq gives information about countries that sold coffee

The grap beloq gives information about countries that sold coffee J3eX0
Overall, it can be seen from the graph the highest trader of coffee was the UK. Regarding bananas, Switzerland dominated throughout the period. Upon a closer look, in 1999, Switzerland sold 3 million euros coffee, which meant the figure for Swiss traders was the highest compared to others. Uk, Denmark, Belgium and Sweden earned between 0. 8 and 1. 8 million euros in 1999. In 2004, UK earned about as 13 times more as in 1999, whereas Switzerland sold as twice as many as in 1999. Less profit was seen in the remaining three countries. Sweden and Denmark added 0. 2 million euros while Belgium made 0. 7 million euro. In regards to Bananas, in 1999 Switzerland earned 15 million euros, while in 2004, this figure increased by 32 million euros, and it was the highest sale in comparison with other countries. Surprisingly, Sweden and Denmark earned 1. 8 and 2 million euros, but in 2004, the both traders made less than in 1999, representing 1 and 0. 9 million euros, respectively. However, the sales of UK was 1 million as opposed to following five years, UK then increased that figure by 4. 4 million euros
Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the graph the highest trader of coffee was the UK. Regarding bananas, Switzerland dominated throughout the period.

Upon a closer look, in 1999, Switzerland sold 3
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
euros coffee, which meant the figure for Swiss traders was the highest compared to others.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Uk
, Denmark, Belgium and Sweden
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earned
between 0. 8 and 1. 8
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million
euros in 1999. In 2004, UK
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earned
about as 13 times more
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
in 1999, whereas Switzerland sold as twice as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
as in 1999. Less profit was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the remaining three countries. Sweden and Denmark
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
0. 2
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million
euros while Belgium made 0. 7
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million
Possible agreement error. The noun 'euro' seems to be countable, so consider using: "euros".
euro
.

Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
In regards to
Bananas, in 1999 Switzerland
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earned
15
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million
euros, while in 2004, this figure increased by 32
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million
euros, and it was the highest sale
in comparison
with other countries.
Surprisingly
, Sweden and Denmark
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earned
1. 8 and 2
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million
euros,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in 2004, the both traders made less than in 1999, representing 1 and 0. 9
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million
euros,
respectively
.
However
, the sales of UK was 1
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million
as opposed to following five years, UK then increased that figure by 4. 4
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
euros
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IELTS academic The grap beloq gives information about countries that sold coffee

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
195 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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