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The graph shows changes in the sales of musical instruments in the UK from 2008 to the present and gives predictions for future sales.

The graph shows changes in the sales of musical instruments in the UK from 2008 to the present and gives predictions for future sales. b3VR6
The graph illustrates the musical instrument purchase in the UK from 2008 to 2021. It presents four different methods: guitars, drums and percussion, trumpets and pianos. In general, 2008-2009 was the year with the highest total revenue and there have been quite obvious changes in the following years. It can be seen that the guitars always make up a large percentage of the majority and the pianos occupy the lowest part. In 2008 and 2009, the transaction of four musical instruments were at roughly the same level, with the highest being guitar with more than 15% and the lowest being pianos less than 10%. Then in the following years, these percentages did not increase much but also tended to decrease, especially the trumpets neared 0%. However, the year 2015-2016 has seen the return of some musicals, such as guitars, which has developed by nearly 10% compared to 2008-2009. From 2015-2016 onwards, the payment of musical instruments are on a decreasing trend. Trumpets and pianos are both at very low levels and have risen slightly in 2020-2021 but not significantly. In addition, guitars and drums, percussion have decreased compared to before, most notably the guitar has decreased by almost 10%.
The graph illustrates the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musical
instrument
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
in the UK from 2008 to 2021. It presents four
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
methods: guitars, drums and percussion, trumpets and pianos.

In general
, 2008-2009 was the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
with the highest total revenue and there have been quite obvious
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the following years. It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the guitars always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
up a large percentage of the majority and the pianos occupy the lowest part.

In 2008 and 2009, the transaction of four
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musical
instruments were at roughly the same level, with the highest being guitar with more than 15% and the lowest being pianos less than 10%. Then in the following years, these percentages did not increase much
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
tended to decrease,
especially
the trumpets neared 0%.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2015-2016 has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
the return of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
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musicals
, such as guitars, which has developed by
nearly
10% compared to 2008-2009.

From 2015-2016 onwards, the payment of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musical
instruments are on a decreasing trend. Trumpets and pianos are both at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
low levels and have risen
slightly
in 2020-2021
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not
significantly
.
In addition
, guitars and drums, percussion have decreased compared to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, most
notably
the guitar has decreased by almost 10%.
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IELTS academic The graph shows changes in the sales of musical instruments in the UK from 2008 to the present and gives predictions for future sales.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
199 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
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  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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