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The given bar graph depicts the information about the various level of post-school qualifications in Australia and the percentage of men and women who held them during the 1999.

The given bar graph depicts the information about the various level of post-school qualifications in Australia and the percentage of men and women who held them during the 1999. EqWMb
The given bar graph depicts the information about the various level of post-school qualifications in Australia and the percentage of men and women who held them during the 1999. Overview, there is the most significant percentage of male in skilled vocational diploma in Australia in 1999 while, females were lesser than males in the same year as well as same nation. After having a keen observation of the given data it's vivid that, less proportion of female who held skilled vocational diploma was only 10%whereas, males were the most significant share of sane course in Australia in 1999. furthermore, undergraduate diploma and postgraduate diploma were remained similar between males and females which was 70%respectively. Moving forward, in the bechelor's degree both gender showed little bit difference towards the course with 50%and approximately, 45%in Australia in1999. moreover, males enrolled more in Master's degree whereas, females were lesser as the first former 40%.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar graph depicts the information about the various level of post-school qualifications in Australia and the percentage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women who held them during the 1999.

Overview, there is the most significant percentage of male in skilled vocational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diploma
in Australia in 1999 while,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
were lesser than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
in the same year
as well
as same nation.

After having a keen observation of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
data it's vivid that, less proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
who held skilled vocational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diploma
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
10%whereas,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
were the most significant share of sane course in Australia in 1999.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
furthermore
, undergraduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diploma
and postgraduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diploma
were remained
similar between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
which was 70%
respectively
.

Moving forward, in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
bechelor
's degree both gender
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".
little bit
difference towards the course with 50%and approximately, 45%in Australia in1999.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
enrolled more in Master's degree whereas,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
were lesser as the
first
former 40%.
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IELTS academic The given bar graph depicts the information about the various level of post-school qualifications in Australia and the percentage of men and women who held them during the 1999.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
151 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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