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The given two pie charts illustrates the outcomes of a survey conducted to know about MBA graduates and reason why they opted that degree and job provider's reasons for selecting them.

The given two pie charts illustrates the outcomes of a survey conducted to know about MBA graduates and reason why they opted that degree and job provider's reasons for selecting them. VBlaJ
The given two pie charts illustrates the outcomes of a survey conducted to know about MBA graduates and reason why they opted that degree and job provider's reasons for selecting them. overall, majority of MBA graduate students told that they have selected this degree for better job opportunities and on the other hand, employers look for personality and previous experience on knowledge for thier hiring. firslty, when 65% of students opted their degree for better job opportunities only 8% had choosen for helping others. when it comes to ability to do the job better only 15 % of total graduates found to select that. for the sake of personality development we can see there is only 12% graduates voting that. Secondly, when we talk about employers and their reasons for hiring the students then their first importance goes to personality and prior expreience which is voted 25% from the whole. presentation and appearance of students is considered 20% and qualifications only voted 10%.
The
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given
two pie charts illustrates the outcomes of a survey conducted to know about MBA
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graduates
and reason why they opted that degree and
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job
provider's reasons for selecting them.

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overall
,
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majority of
MBA
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graduate
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students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
that they have selected this degree for better
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job
opportunities and
on the other hand
, employers look for personality and previous experience on knowledge for
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thier
hiring.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
firslty
, when 65% of
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students
opted their degree for better
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job
opportunities
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only
8% had
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choosen
for helping others.
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when
it
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comes
to ability to do the
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job
better
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only
15 % of total
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graduates
found to select that.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
the sake of personality development we can
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see
there is
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only
12%
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graduates
voting that.

Secondly
, when we talk about employers and their reasons for hiring the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
then their
first
importance goes to personality and prior
Possible spelling mistake found.
expreience
which
is voted
25% from the whole.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
presentation
and appearance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
is considered
20% and qualifications
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
voted 10%.
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IELTS academic The given two pie charts illustrates the outcomes of a survey conducted to know about MBA graduates and reason why they opted that degree and job provider's reasons for selecting them.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
163 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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