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The given pie charts compare the energy

The given pie charts compare the energy BY9Ea
The given two pie charts compare the energy generated from different sources in a particular country from 1985 to 2003. It can be seen that the energy produced remains same whereas the sources differ with time. Oil is the largest producer of energy throughout the whole period, although its usage dropped from just over a half (52%) in 1985 to approximately two fifth (39%) in 2003. The decrease was observed in the usage of nuclear source from 22% to 17% over the given period. The use of Natural gas and coal increase from 13% and 8% in 1985 to 23% and 13% respectively in 2003. Similarly the energy generated from renewable resources boost from 1% to 4% over the time. However the production from hydrogen remained same(4%) in 18 years. Overall, the maximum energy was produced from oil and least from hydrogen and other renewable resources from 1985 to 2003.
The
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given
two pie charts compare the
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energy
generated from
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different
sources in a particular country from 1985 to 2003. It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
produced remains same whereas the sources differ with time.

Oil is the largest producer of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
throughout the whole period, although its usage dropped from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over a half (52%) in 1985 to approximately two fifth (39%) in 2003. The decrease
was observed
in the usage of nuclear source from 22% to 17% over the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period.

The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of Natural gas and coal increase from 13% and 8% in 1985 to 23% and 13%
respectively
in 2003.
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Similarly
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
generated from renewable resources boost from 1% to 4% over the time.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
the production from hydrogen remained same(4%) in 18 years.

Overall
, the maximum
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energy
was produced
from oil and least from hydrogen and other renewable resources from 1985 to 2003.
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IELTS academic The given pie charts compare the energy

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
150 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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