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The given pie charts compare the average proportions in typical meals of three different types of nutrients such as sodium, saturated fat and added sugar, which is detrimental to health if consumed too much.

The given pie charts compare the average proportions in typical meals of three different types of nutrients such as sodium, saturated fat and added sugar, which is detrimental to health if consumed too much. NOEm
The given pie charts compare the average proportions in typical meals of three different types of nutrients such as sodium, saturated fat and added sugar, which is detrimental to health if consumed too much. Overall, charts are illustrated that dinner accounted for the highest levels of sodium and saturated fat while snacks accounted for the highest levels of added sugar. In the first chart, it shows the proportions of sodium in typical meals. The highest percentage in sodium is dinner up to 43% compared with the least consumed snacks and breakfast by 14%. And the lunch accounted for 29%. The second chart shows average percentage of saturated fat consumed in the USA, which almost same trend as the previous chart. In the chart, dinner contains the highest rate by 37%, whereas breakfast contains the least proportions by 16%. Moreover snacks and lunch are 21% and 26% respectively. The last chart is bit different compare with the other two. Snacks are accounted for the highest levels of added sugar by 42% whereas breakfast accounted for the least levels by 16%. Lunch considered little bit low with 19% compared to the dinner by 23%. /193 words/
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
pie
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charts
compare the average proportions in typical meals of three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of nutrients such as sodium, saturated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
sugar, which is detrimental to health if consumed too much.

Overall
,
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charts
are illustrated
that
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dinner
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accounted
for the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
levels
of sodium and saturated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
snacks
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accounted
for the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
levels
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
sugar.

In the
first
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chart
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the proportions of sodium in typical meals. The highest percentage in sodium is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dinner
up to 43% compared with the least consumed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
snacks
and breakfast by 14%. And the lunch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accounted
for 29%.

The second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
average percentage of saturated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
consumed in the USA, which almost same trend as the previous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
. In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
,
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dinner
contains the highest rate by 37%, whereas breakfast contains the least proportions by 16%.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
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snacks
and lunch are 21% and 26%
respectively
.

The last
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chart
is
It seems that an article is missing.
bit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
compare with the other two.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Snacks
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accounted
for the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
levels
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
sugar by 42% whereas breakfast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accounted
for the least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
levels
by 16%. Lunch considered
Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".
little bit
low with 19% compared to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dinner
by 23%. /193 words/
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IELTS academic The given pie charts compare the average proportions in typical meals of three different types of nutrients such as sodium, saturated fat and added sugar, which is detrimental to health if consumed too much.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
193 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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