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The given line graph illustrates the proportion of smoking per 1000 people in Someland between 1960 and 2000.

The given line graph illustrates the proportion of smoking per 1000 people in Someland between 1960 and 2000. ebyVO
The given line graph illustrates the proportion of smoking per 1000 people in Someland between 1960 and 2000. Overall, the percentage of people who smoking of men decreased significantly while that of women witnessed a sight growth. In 1960, the percentage of women who smoking was lower than 100 per 1000 people while that of men stood at the highest point, which is 600 per 1000 people. The figure for smoking women experienced a sharp increase after 15 years to over 300 per 1000 people, but that of smoking men declined slightly to 500 per 1000 people. Over the next 25 years, the proportion of men who smoking witnessed a significant drop from 500 to approximately 250 per 1000 people. However, there was a tiny decrease in that of smoking women to 200 per 1000 people after that growth. Finally, the figure for smoking men was still higher than that of women over the period.
The
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given
line graph illustrates the proportion of
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smoking
per 1000
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people
in
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Someland
between 1960 and 2000.

Overall
, the percentage of
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people
who
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smoking
of
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men
decreased
significantly
while that of
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women
witnessed a sight growth.

In 1960, the percentage of
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women
who
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smoking
was lower than 100 per 1000
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people
while that of
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men
stood at the highest point, which is 600 per 1000
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people
. The figure for
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smoking
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women
experienced a sharp increase after 15 years to over 300 per 1000
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people
,
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but
that of
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smoking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
declined
slightly
to 500 per 1000
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Over the
next
25 years, the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
who
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smoking
witnessed a significant drop from 500 to approximately 250 per 1000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
However
, there was a tiny decrease in that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
to 200 per 1000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
after that growth.
Finally
, the figure for
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smoking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
was
still
higher than that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
over the period.
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IELTS academic The given line graph illustrates the proportion of smoking per 1000 people in Someland between 1960 and 2000.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
155 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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