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The given line graph illustrates the proportion of Australian products distributed to four countries over 22 years.

The given line graph illustrates the proportion of Australian products distributed to four countries over 22 years. MqB1o
The given line graph illustrates the proportion of Australian products distributed to four countries over 22 years. Almost all Chinese and Indian citizens had consumed goods from Australia over a period, especially China which reached the top. Whereas, the US and Japan saw a moderate decline in commodities imported from Australia. Firstly, although China received only a mere 5% in 1990, it was the leading export the market of Australian stocks disseminating over less than a third after over 2 decades. Whereas, there was a dramatic decline in Japanese substances which from nearly 25% to below 20% in 5 years, followed by a minimal dip. Moreover, there was only 10% of Australia's exports to the US, 10 times as much as that of India in 1990. Over the following 22 years, both of which fluctuated and dropped to around 5% in 2012.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
line graph illustrates the proportion of Australian products distributed to four countries
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over
22 years.

Almost all Chinese and Indian citizens had consumed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
from Australia
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
a period,
especially
China which reached the top. Whereas, the US and Japan
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a moderate decline in commodities imported from Australia.

Firstly
, although China received
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a mere 5% in 1990, it was the leading export the market of Australian stocks disseminating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
less than a third after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
2 decades. Whereas, there was a dramatic decline in Japanese substances which from
nearly
25% to below 20% in 5 years, followed by a minimal dip.

Moreover
, there was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
10% of Australia's exports to the US, 10 times as much as that of India in 1990.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Over
the following 22 years, both of which fluctuated and dropped to around 5% in 2012.
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IELTS academic The given line graph illustrates the proportion of Australian products distributed to four countries over 22 years.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
142 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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