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The chart shows the holiday accommodation in four countries in britain

The chart shows the holiday accommodation in four countries in britain r6lKn
The bar chart illustrates the answer for a survey on prefered accommodation on holiday of 4 countries in 2010. It is clear that hotels was chosen as the most popular accommodation option for the majority of people in all four countries. The opposite was true for the selection of camping which accounts the lowest rate in all types of accommodation. 55% of English respondents adored staying in hotels, and this number was slightly higher than the figure for Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland. Besides, the figures for hotels were almost as twice as the percentage of people who cooked for themselves (under 30%) in England, Scotland and Wales. In comparison, only 10% of citizens in Northern Ireland responded that they choose self-catering for their holiday. A caravan holiday was chosen by 30% of people surveyed and was the second most popular option in Northern Ireland while it was the least choice in England and Wales with around 5% and 9% respectively. There were over 10% chosen camping by English, Northern Irishman and Wales people. Meanwhile, it witnessed the least choice in Scotland.
The bar chart illustrates the answer for a survey on
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "preferred", the past tense form of the verb 'prefer'?
prefered
accommodation on holiday of 4 countries in 2010.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that hotels
was chosen
as the most popular accommodation option for the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in all four countries. The opposite was true for the selection of camping which accounts the lowest rate in all types of accommodation.

55% of English respondents adored staying in hotels, and this number was
slightly
higher than the figure for Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland.
Besides
, the figures for hotels were almost as twice as the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who cooked for themselves (under 30%) in England, Scotland and Wales.
In comparison
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
10% of citizens in Northern Ireland responded that they choose self-catering for their holiday.

A caravan holiday
was chosen
by 30% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
surveyed and was the second most popular option in Northern Ireland while it was the least choice in England and Wales with around 5% and 9%
respectively
. There were over 10% chosen
If 'chosen' is used as a verb, it usually requires the infinitive: "to camp".
camping
by English, Northern Irishman and Wales
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Meanwhile, it witnessed the least choice in Scotland.
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IELTS academic The chart shows the holiday accommodation in four countries in britain

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
182 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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