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The given illustration depicts the data of figures related to the monthly participation of Shanghai Library in 2010.

The given illustration depicts the data of figures related to the monthly participation of Shanghai Library in 2010. PkX7p
Overall, what stands out from the graph is that the number of participants of the library has increasing manner with some interruptions. As can be reflected from the chart, in January the number of attendance showed the average rate with index of 35, 000 and then dropped to almost 26, 000 for the next month the lowest value. Oppositely, in March the figures of participants jumped to shy of 40, 000 and modestly climbed to nearly 45, 000 in July. In the following month, the value of attendees slid to about 36, 000 as an average number. Although, the numbers of members declined in August, it commenced to gradually climb to 45, 000 at the final point in November as the top one and then the slight fall can be seen in December
Overall
, what stands out from the graph is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of participants of the library has increasing manner with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
interruptions. As can
be reflected
from the chart, in January the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of attendance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
the average rate with index of 35, 000 and then dropped to almost 26, 000 for the
next
month the lowest value.
Oppositely
, in March the figures of participants jumped to shy of 40, 000 and
modestly
climbed to
nearly
45, 000 in July. In the following month, the value of attendees slid to about 36, 000 as an average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
. Although, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
of members declined in August, it commenced to
gradually
climb to 45, 000 at the final point in November as the top one and then the slight fall can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in December
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IELTS academic The given illustration depicts the data of figures related to the monthly participation of Shanghai Library in 2010.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
132 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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