Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Food consumption in the world and two Asian countries

Food consumption in the world and two Asian countries M3wmk
The three pie charts compare the world with two particular Asian countries in terms of average food consumption in 2008. Overall, the highest portions of food came from processed food, vegetables and fruits. Moreover, there were some differences in the breakdowns of other categories consumed in the given year. In the world prepackaged food, vegetables and fruits accounted for accordingly 41% and 29% of total consumption, while only 30% of the diet made up of the other two groups. On the other hand, the proportion of processed food the Chinese ate was responsible for more than a third compared to Indians for whom this index was equal to almost two-fifths. However, in China nuts and seeds had the share of 19 %, though the figure for India was just over 10%. Moreover, the amounts of animal food, fruits and vegetables consumed by the two nations were almost proportional, with 47% and 50% respectively.
The three pie charts compare the world with two particular Asian countries in terms of average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
consumption in 2008.

Overall
, the highest portions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
came from processed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, vegetables and fruits.
Moreover
, there were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
differences in the breakdowns of other categories consumed in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
year.

In the world prepackaged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, vegetables and fruits accounted for
accordingly
41% and 29% of total consumption, while
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
30% of the diet made up of the other two groups.

On the other hand
, the proportion of processed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
the Chinese ate was responsible for more than a third compared to Indians for whom this index was equal to almost two-fifths.

However
, in China nuts and seeds had the share of 19 %, though the figure for India was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 10%.

Moreover
, the amounts of animal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, fruits and vegetables consumed by the two nations were almost proportional, with 47% and 50%
respectively
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS academic Food consumption in the world and two Asian countries

Academic
  American English
6 paragraphs
153 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 6band
    The given line graph illustrates the figure of house built per 10 years in the towns of Fakletown and Newtown over the last century.
    The given line graph illustrates the figure of house built per 10 years in the towns of Fakletown and Newtown over the last century. It is clear from the chart that there was a dramatic change in the number of houses in Newtown. Especially, the number of houses in Fakletown rapidly increased from 1...
  • 5.5band
    The diagram shows the changes to station street in 1996 and now
    The picture shows the development that took place in Station Street in two given period which is 1996 and the present. Overalls, the most noticeable difference is all the recreational amenities in 1996 are now converted into a supermarket and being reconstructed, others facilities in Station Street...
  • 5.5band
    The table shows the recommended daily value of Potassium, Vitamin B, Magnesium, Vitamin C, and Calcium four juices.
    This table gives information about the required value of five different nutrients is Potassium, Vitamin B, Magnesium, Vitamin C, and Calcium in four juices. It is seen that most of the daily value of percentage in juices is seen in Vitamin C and the least is seen in Calcium. To start with potassium...
  • 6.5band
    summer and winter olympics
    The first bar chart shows which countries have won the most medals in the winter Olympics. It also states how many gold, silver and bronze medals each country has achieved. In contrast, the second graph shows which nations have won the most medals in the summer Olympics. Overall, the first graph sh...
  • 6band
    graduates and postgraduates did after leaving college in 2008
    The two bar charts shows what UK graduates and postgraduates did after leaving college in 2008. The full-time job was excluded. Even after their graduates enormous amount of students decided to study further more after 2008 which requires same for postgraduates. Overall, there are almost more than ...
  • 5band
    principal component analysis (PCA)
    principal component analysis (PCA) is an unsupervised chemometric method that simultaneously analyzes all multidimensional information. this is a way to condense the data set, increase interpretability and preserve statistical information as much as decrease data loss. For low dimensionality data, P...