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The given graphs Shows number of passengers in Sydney and the percentage of trains running on time

The given graphs Shows number of passengers in Sydney and the percentage of trains running on time VExlO
The information about the data of railways passengers in Sydney and the ratio of railways running on time between 1995 and 2004 is depicted by the rendard two line graphs Overall, it is sufficient to make it understood that, number of passengers showing upward trend. However, other one showing downward trend. To begin with, in 1995 passengers was nearby 240 millions. Moreover, there had been a slight increased observed in number of passengers in Sydney, it comprised to 280 millions between 1995 to 2000. After 2000, it was moderately increased by 20 millions passengers and then ratio was suddenly decreased by same figures. Inspite of, a remain constant was seen in data of passengers from 2002 to 2004. Moving further, in proportion of trains a target line was setup at 93% approximately. Despite of, in 1995 the ratio was nearby 91%. There was a slight decreased seen in the figures of train in sydney, it accounted for around 86% from 1995 to 1997. Alongwith, a sharply increased was seen in ratio of trains, it reached at almost 93% between 1997 to 1998. After 1998, ratio of trains touched target line in 1999. A slowly decreased was seen from 1999 to 2000. Afterthat, from 2000 to 2002 the ratio of railways was slowly increased and touched the target line and then the ratio was slightly decreased till 2003 and after 2003 dramatically decreased was observed in figure of trains till 2004.
The information about the data of railways
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passengers
in Sydney and the
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ratio
of railways running on time between 1995 and 2004
is depicted
by the
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rendard
two
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line
graphs
Overall
, it is sufficient to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it understood that, number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passengers
showing upward trend.
However
, other one showing downward trend. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, in 1995
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passengers
was nearby 240 millions.
Moreover
, there had been a slight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
observed in number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passengers
in Sydney, it comprised to 280 millions
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 1995 and 2000".
between 1995 to 2000
. After 2000, it was
moderately
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increased
by 20 millions
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passengers
and then
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ratio
was
suddenly
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decreased
by same figures.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Inspite
of,
After 'a', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'remain' is correct. If 'remain' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
a remain
constant was
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seen
in data of
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passengers
from 2002 to 2004. Moving
further
, in proportion of
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trains
a target
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line
The verb 'set up' is spelled as two words. The noun 'setup' is spelled as one.
was setup
at 93% approximately.
Did you mean "Despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
Despite of
, in 1995 the
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ratio
was nearby 91%. There was a slight
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decreased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seen
in the figures of
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train
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
sydney
, it accounted for around 86% from 1995 to 1997.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Alongwith
, a
sharply
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increased
was
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seen
in
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ratio
of
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trains
, it reached at almost 93%
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 1997 and 1998".
between 1997 to 1998
. After 1998,
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ratio
of
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trains
touched target
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line
in 1999. A
slowly
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decreased
was
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seen
from 1999 to 2000.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Afterthat
, from 2000 to 2002 the
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ratio
of railways was
slowly
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increased
and touched the target
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line
and then the
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ratio
was
slightly
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decreased
till 2003 and after 2003
dramatically
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decreased
was observed
in figure of
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trains
till 2004.
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IELTS academic The given graphs Shows number of passengers in Sydney and the percentage of trains running on time

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
240 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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