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The given graph illustrates the number of males and females who graduated from universities in Canada.

The given graph illustrates the number of males and females who graduated from universities in Canada. This survey has been taken for 15 years ( from 1992 to 2007). Overall, it is noticeable female graduates are superior in number over the involved years. even though the number of male graduates fluctuated from the beginning until 2001, there was a marked increase in it after that. Women numbers have escalated at first then a slight decrease happened and eventually a considerable rose in their numbers among university graduates. to start with, women students were about 99, 000 in 1992 then they grew to roughly 103, 000 in 1995. It followed by a small decrease in 1998 (100, 000) before happening a significant escalation at the end to became around 149, 000 girls. comparatively, men students number at university followed a slight fluctuation from 1992 to 2001, about 70, 000 to considerably more or less than 73, 000 respectively. Last but not least their numbers rose dramatically over the next 5 years to reach 96, 000 in 2006.
The
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given
graph illustrates the
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number
of males and females who graduated from universities in Canada. This survey has
been taken
for 15 years
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
from 1992 to 2007).

Overall
, it is noticeable female graduates are superior in
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number
over the involved years.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
even
though the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of male graduates fluctuated from the beginning until 2001, there was a marked increase in it after that. Women
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numbers
have escalated at
first
then a slight decrease happened and
eventually
a considerable rose in their
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numbers
among university graduates.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, women students were about 99, 000 in 1992 then they grew to roughly 103, 000 in 1995. It followed by a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
decrease in 1998 (100, 000)
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
happening a significant escalation at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
to became around 149, 000 girls.

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comparatively
,
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men
students
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number
at university followed a slight fluctuation from 1992 to 2001, about 70, 000 to
considerably
more or less than 73, 000
respectively
. Last
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but
not least their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
rose
dramatically
over the
next
5 years to reach 96, 000 in 2006.
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IELTS academic The given graph illustrates the number of males and females who graduated from universities in Canada.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
176 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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