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The given diagram illustrates the amount of females and males in post-secondary education in Britain during 1970, 1980 and 1990 and whether they were studying part-time or full-time.

The given diagram illustrates the amount of females and males in post-secondary education in Britain during 1970, 1980 and 1990 and whether they were studying part-time or full-time. 7PwP3
The given diagram illustrates the amount of females and males in post-secondary education in Britain during 1970, 1980 and 1990 and whether they were studying part-time or full-time. In general, at the beggining of a given time it observed that the highest number of students in further education studying part-time constituted men. But in the next decade the sutuation changed and the number of women and men in part-time education begun to level off. And finally in the 1990 females number substantially increased. The same sutiation can be observed in full-time education. Now turning to the details, part-time education were famous option during three decades.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
diagram illustrates the amount of females and males in post-secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in Britain during 1970, 1980 and 1990 and whether they were studying part-time or full-time.
In general
, at the
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beggining
of a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
time it observed that the highest number of students in
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
studying part-time constituted
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in the
next
decade the
Possible spelling mistake found.
sutuation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
and the number of women and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
in part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
begun to level off. And
finally
in the 1990 females number
substantially
increased. The same
Possible spelling mistake found.
sutiation
can
be observed
in full-time education.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
turning to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
option during three decades.
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IELTS academic The given diagram illustrates the amount of females and males in post-secondary education in Britain during 1970, 1980 and 1990 and whether they were studying part-time or full-time.

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
105 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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