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The given diagram give information about young people studying in high school in 2000, 2005,2010

The given diagram give information about young people studying in high school in 2000, 2005, 2010 DoLao
The given bar graph delineates the comparison between the percentile of young ones who engaged in tertiary education in last three years in distinct nations such as Country A, B, C and D. From an overall perspective, it is clearly evident that the maximum young individuals of Country D had involved in higher education; however, the minimum number of Country B people interested in higher studies. Strikingly, the percentage of youth had inclined in every country except Country B. As apparent from the bar graph, in Country D, 64% young ones involved in tertiary education in 2000; this number was increased drastically to 80% in 2010. Yet, 38% of Country A individuals was enrolled in higher studies in 2000, which was 26% less than the Country D percentage. In 2005 and 2010, about 52% and 62% youth had been interested in tertiary education of Country A. It is further vivid that the young generation of Country C had highest enroll in higher studies as relative to Country B. From 2000 to 2010, the percentage of young people in Country B had been fluctuated; it was 46% in 2000; after that, it had been declined steadily to 41% and then rose to 43% in 2010. Total 46% young ones of Country C was indulged in higher studies in 2000. Strikingly, the rate of Country C individuals was similar in 2005 and 2010, approximately 52%.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar graph delineates the comparison between the percentile of
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young
ones who engaged in tertiary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in last three years in distinct nations such as
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Country
A, B, C and D.

From an
overall
perspective, it is
clearly
evident that the maximum
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young
individuals of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Country
D had involved in higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
;
however
, the minimum number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Country
B
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
interested in higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
.
Strikingly
, the percentage of youth had inclined in every
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country
except
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Country
B.

As apparent from the bar graph, in
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Country
D, 64%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
ones involved in tertiary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in 2000; this number
was increased
drastically
to 80% in 2010.
Yet
, 38% of
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Country
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "A individual" or simply "individuals"?
A individuals
was enrolled
in higher
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studies
in 2000, which was 26% less than the
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Country
D percentage. In 2005 and 2010, about 52% and 62% youth had
been interested
in tertiary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Country
A.

It is
further
vivid that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Country
C had highest enroll in higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
as relative to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Country
B. From 2000 to 2010, the percentage of
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young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Country
B had
been fluctuated
; it was 46% in 2000; after that, it had
been declined
steadily
to 41% and then rose to 43% in 2010. Total 46%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
ones of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Country
C
was indulged
in higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
in 2000.
Strikingly
, the rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Country
C individuals was similar in 2005 and 2010, approximately 52%.
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IELTS academic The given diagram give information about young people studying in high school in 2000, 2005, 2010

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
233 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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