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The given charts compare the percentages of 6stuff sold online in australia in the years 2010 and 2015.

The given charts compare the percentages of 6stuff sold online in australia in the years 2010 and 2015. It is noticeable that the proportion of Electric & Applionce and also Gift Items sold in australia got bigger over the 6-year period, while the amount of video games online sales had fallen by 2015. In 2010, 27% of online sales reaching came from Electric&Opplionce stuff and this percentage saw an increase and got to 33% in 2015 and remained at the biggest proportion. Gift Items that accounted 7% of online shop’s sales in 2010, rose to 11% in 2015. By contrast, the figure for Video Games, by 2015, had dramatically decreased to almost half asa much as in 2010. Sa we can see, the number of books and Food&Beverages ordered online both saw a significialy rie from 2010 to 2015, but books still have the smallest proportion in 2015. Whetear in the aquivalent period the percentage of Home Furnishings sold online marginally decreased from 22% to 19%.
The
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given
charts compare the percentages of 6stuff sold
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online
in
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australia
in the years 2010 and 2015.

It is noticeable that the proportion of Electric &
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Applionce
and
also
Gift Items sold in
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australia
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got
bigger over the 6-year period, while the amount of video games
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online
sales had fallen by 2015.

In 2010, 27% of
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online
sales reaching came from
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Electric&Opplionce
stuff and this percentage
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saw
an increase and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
to 33% in 2015 and remained at the biggest proportion. Gift Items that accounted 7% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
shop’s sales in 2010, rose to 11% in 2015. By contrast, the figure for Video Games, by 2015, had
dramatically
decreased to almost half
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asa
much as in 2010.

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Sa
we can
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see
, the number of books and
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Food&Beverages
ordered
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online
both
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saw
a
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significialy
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rie
from 2010 to 2015,
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but
books
still
have the smallest proportion in 2015.
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Whetear
in the
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aquivalent
period the percentage of Home Furnishings sold
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online
marginally
decreased from 22% to 19%.
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IELTS academic The given charts compare the percentages of 6stuff sold online in australia in the years 2010 and 2015.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
166 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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