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The table depicts the data about the metro system in 6 cities.

The table depicts the data about the metro system in 6 cities. In general, it noticeable that the number of people who use underground in each year. It is clear that the largest kilometers of route in London with 394 kilometers. The second largest route of system in Paris at 199 kilometers. The London underground is old system, which was opened 1863 year. In contrast, the Los Angeles network was the newest system, which was opened at beginning twenty century. Afterwards, the most used underground with around 1930 million passengers per year in Tokyo, comparied with 45 mln and 50 mln in Kyoto and Los Angeles in turn. As graph shows, In all six countries witnessed the government was spent a lot of money on subway construction and the population was using the service more than once a year.
The table depicts the data about the metro
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system
in 6 cities.
In general
,
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it
noticeable that the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
underground in each year.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the largest kilometers of route in London with 394 kilometers. The second largest route of
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system
in Paris at 199 kilometers. The London underground is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
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system
, which
was opened
1863 year.
In contrast
, the Los Angeles network was the newest
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system
, which
was opened
at beginning twenty
Possible agreement error. The noun 'century' seems to be countable, so consider using: "centuries".
century
.

Afterwards, the most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
underground with around 1930 million passengers per year in Tokyo,
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comparied
with 45
Possible spelling mistake found.
mln
and 50
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mln
in Kyoto and Los Angeles in turn.

As graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
, In all six countries witnessed the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
was spent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money on subway construction and the population was using the service more than once a year.
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IELTS academic The table depicts the data about the metro system in 6 cities.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
139 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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