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the map below show the village of stokeford in1930 and 2010 summarise the information and make comparison where relevant

The map shows the changes that had taken places in the countryside from 1930 to 2010 in Stokeford. Overall, some changes would be seen in the accommodation and the farmland amenities, while public facilities showed tobe the same. When it came to the east area, retirement home was replaced with large house, while in that area primary school remained unchanged. However, in north-east area, many houses were built with extended the path, replacing from the farmland, and following this in the south-west was the same pattern, housings changing farmland. Moreover, the developers were kept to maintain bridge in the north-west region and the trees around retirement house, while one big tree was cut down in front of that house. Also, they were established houses and expanded path in the middle of map around post office which still stayed in the former, while the shops were demolished to change many housings in that area.
The map
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
that had taken places in the countryside from 1930 to 2010 in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Stokeford
.

Overall
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the accommodation and the farmland amenities, while public facilities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
Possible spelling mistake found.
tobe
the same.

When it came to the east
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
, retirement home
was replaced
with large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
, while in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
primary school remained unchanged.
However
, in north-east
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area
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
were built
with extended the path, replacing from the farmland, and following this in the south-west was the same pattern, housings changing farmland.

Moreover
, the developers were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
to maintain bridge in the north-west region and the trees around retirement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
, while one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
tree was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down in front of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
.
Also
, they
were established
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
and expanded path in the middle of map around post office which
still
stayed in the former, while the shops
were demolished
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
housings in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
.
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IELTS academic the map below show the village of stokeford in1930 and 2010

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
153 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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