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The diagram illustrates how bees produce honey. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words. Nectar: a sweet liquid produced by flowers Hive: a container where bees live Evaporation: water changing to gas

This diagram shows the honey production cycle of bees. There are seven vital stages illustrates here in the bee production diagram. The process begins with making the hive and completed when honey is ready to be collected and used. Firstly, bees started to build a container where they live which is basically named a hive. These hives are consists of huge numbers of individual cells or hubs. After that, in the second stage whenever they finish building their hive, go to search for a flower from which they could collect the nectar. Nectar is a very sweet liquid produced by flowers. Next, the nectar is taken back to the hive and store in the cells to start a production process of honey. To convert nectar to honey necessary to cool it by giving air to the cells and bees doing this with their wings. As a result, in the final stage nectar loses its water content for evaporation and then finally produces honey.
This diagram
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the honey production cycle of bees. There are seven vital stages illustrates here in the bee production diagram. The process
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begins
with making the hive and completed when honey is ready to
be collected
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
.

Firstly
, bees
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to build a container where they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
which is
basically
named a hive. These hives are consists of huge numbers of individual cells or hubs. After that, in the second stage whenever they finish building their hive, go to search for a flower from which they could collect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nectar
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Nectar
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
sweet liquid produced by flowers.

Next
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nectar
is taken
back to the hive and store in the cells to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a production process of honey. To convert
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nectar
to honey necessary to cool it by giving air to the cells and bees doing this with their wings.
As a result
, in the final stage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nectar
loses its water content for evaporation and then
finally
produces honey.
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IELTS academic The diagram illustrates how bees produce honey.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
163 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • The diagram illustrates how bees produce honey. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words. Nectar: a sweet liquid produced by flowers Hive: a container where bees live Evaporation: water changing to gas