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The given bar chart represents the proportion of regular physical activities of male and female among six age groups of Australia in 2010.

The given bar chart represents the proportion of regular physical activities of male and female among six age groups of Australia in 2010. nYgR
The given bar chart represents the proportion of regular physical activities of male and female among six age groups of Australia in 2010. overall women were more dominant in physical exercise than men. The chart displays that there was evidence of a steady boost in the percentage of females who regularly worked out. Here 52. 8% of men from 15 to 24 exercised daily which was nearly 5% higher than women from that age group. However the scenario remained quite opposite in all other age group. Physical activity was more trendy among women in aged 25 to 34( 48. 9%) while the number male is 6% less than the female of the same age group. This dominance of women was more prevalent in age group 35 to 44 where 13% more women did workouts, in 45 to 54 women overshadowed men by 10 % approximately and in 55 to 64 the differences was about 8%. In the age group 65 and over this differences was much less where only 0. 4 % more female did the activity than males
The
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given
bar chart represents the proportion of regular physical activities of male and
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female
among six
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age
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groups
of Australia in 2010.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
overall
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women
were more dominant in physical exercise than
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men
.

The chart displays that there was evidence of a steady boost in the percentage of
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females
who
regularly
worked out. Here 52. 8% of
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men
from 15 to 24
Possible agreement error. The noun 'exercised' seems to be countable, so consider using: "exercises".
exercised
daily which was
nearly
5% higher than
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women
from that
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age
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group
.
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However
the scenario remained quite opposite in all other
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age
group.

Physical activity was more trendy among
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women
in aged 25 to 34
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
48. 9%) while the number male is 6% less than the
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female
of the same
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age
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group
. This dominance of
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women
was more prevalent in
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age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
35 to 44 where 13% more
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women
did workouts, in 45 to 54
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women
overshadowed
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men
by 10 % approximately and in 55 to 64 the differences was about 8%.

In the
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age
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group
65 and over
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this
differences was much less where
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only
0. 4 % more
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female
did the activity than males
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IELTS academic The given bar chart represents the proportion of regular physical activities of male and female among six age groups of Australia in 2010.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
178 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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