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The given bar chart illustrates the total amounts of telephone calls in time in the United Kingdom, which are divided into 3 groups, between the years 1995 and 2002.

The given bar chart illustrates the total amounts of telephone calls in time in the United Kingdom, which are divided into 3 groups, between the years 1995 and 2002. p8W2
The given bar chart illustrates the total amounts of telephone calls in time in the United Kingdom, which are divided into 3 groups, between the years 1995 and 2002. At the outset, it is clear, that local fixed line was in the top during the years started from 1995 and 2002. While, calls are done by mobile phones was the smallest rate all this time. At the beginning, in 1995, differences between mobile calls and local calls were a big. Local fixed line stood above 70 billion in minute. Calls done by mobiles did not even reach 5 billion. And the proportions of local calls were grown till the 1999. And it reached the highest point 90 billion. However, after 1999 this fraction went done in that speed with which it grew to the 90. Meanwhile, phone calls increased to the 2002. After what variation between them was approximately 35 billion in minutes. Started from 1995, to the 2002, there have little changes on national and international lines. This rate rose slowly per year, and at the end, picked up 50 billion. (182)
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar chart illustrates the total amounts of telephone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
calls
in time in the United Kingdom, which
are divided
into 3 groups, between the years 1995 and 2002.

At the outset, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
line was in the top during the years
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
Nonstandard phrase. Did you mean: "from 1995 to 2002"?
from 1995 and 2002
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
calls
are done
by mobile phones was the smallest rate all this time.

At the beginning, in 1995, differences between mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
calls
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
calls
were a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
line stood above 70
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
in minute.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Calls
done by mobiles did not even reach 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
. And the proportions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
calls
were grown
till the 1999. And it reached the highest point 90
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
.
However
, after 1999 this fraction went done in that speed with which it grew to the 90. Meanwhile, phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
calls
increased to the 2002.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
what variation between them was approximately 35
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
in minutes.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Started
from 1995, to the 2002, there have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
on national and international lines. This rate rose
slowly
per year, and at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, picked up 50
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
. (182)
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IELTS academic The given bar chart illustrates the total amounts of telephone calls in time in the United Kingdom, which are divided into 3 groups, between the years 1995 and 2002.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
182 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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