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The given bar chart illustrates the percentage of internet users of different age groups between the year 2003 and 2006, in UK.

The given bar chart illustrates the percentage of internet users of different age groups between the year 2003 and 2006, in UK. R2BlQ
Overall, it is immediately apparent that, people in the age group of 16 - 24 are enormous users of the internet, whereas the adults over the age of 65 had a least percentage of internet users. Also we can see that, all the age group have great interest in the usage of internet. In detail, considering the age group of 16 - 24, we can see that the percentage of network consumers are 80% in the year of 2003 and 2004. There was a gradual increase to 100% in the year 2005 and it also decreased to 90% in the next year. In the age group of 25-44, there was a significant growth in the percentage, that is 50 - 80% from the year 2003 to 2006. while considering the age group of 45 to 54 it is comparatively similar to the previous age groups, it rising from 60 to 80% in the given periods of time. The percentage of net users in the age group of 55 - 64 year old consumes the internet between 30 to 35% from 2003 to 2005, but also there is significant increase of 15% by 2006. In the case of people over the year of 65, there is no usage in 2003, from 2004 to 2006 the percentage becomes 15 to 20 percentage.
Overall
, it is immediately apparent that,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
of
Consider using an n-dash (half dash), if you want to indicate numerical ranges or time ranges.
16 - 24
are enormous users of the internet, whereas the adults over the
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age
of 65 had
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
least
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percentage
of internet users.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that, all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
have great interest in the usage of internet. In detail, considering the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
of
Consider using an n-dash (half dash), if you want to indicate numerical ranges or time ranges.
16 - 24
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of network consumers are 80% in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
of 2003 and 2004. There was a gradual increase to 100% in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2005 and it
also
decreased to 90% in the
next
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
. In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
of 25-44, there was a significant growth in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
,
that is
50
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
80% from the
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year
2003 to 2006.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
while
considering the
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age
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group
of 45 to 54 it is
comparatively
similar to the previous
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age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
,
Did you mean "it's rising", "it is rising", or "it was rising"?
it rising
from 60 to 80% in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
periods of time. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of net users in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
of
Consider using an n-dash (half dash), if you want to indicate numerical ranges or time ranges.
55 - 64
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year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
consumes the internet between 30 to 35% from 2003 to 2005,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
there is significant increase of 15% by 2006. In the case of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
of 65, there is no usage in 2003, from 2004 to 2006 the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
becomes 15 to 20
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
.
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IELTS academic The given bar chart illustrates the percentage of internet users of different age groups between the year 2003 and 2006, in UK.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
220 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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