Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The given bar chart illustrates the percentage of American adults in different fields of employment from 2003 to 2013.

The given bar chart illustrates the percentage of American adults in different fields of employment from 2003 to 2013. 75nGb
The given bar chart illustrates the percentage of American adults in different fields of employment from 2003 to 2013. In general, it can be seen that there were increases in the percentages of people working in education training, the hotel industry, the building industry, and the self-employment sector, while the medical, and business sectors saw decreases over this ten-year period. The unemployment rate also significantly dropped during this time. In 2003, approximate- ly 8%, 3%, and 10% of American adults were employed in education training, the hotel industry, and building respectively. The figures for these fields all rose to around 20% over the following ten years. Additionally, the percentage of selfemployed people almost tripled, from around 10% to just over 30% during the period. In 2013, around a quarter of the American working population chose to run their own businesses, which had seen a two-fold decrease from 2003. Similarly, percentages of those in the medical industry also dropped by half, from 20% to 10%, over the period.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar chart illustrates the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of American adults in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
fields of

employment from 2003 to 2013.

In general
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that there were increases in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentages
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
working

in education training, the hotel industry, the building industry, and the self-employment

sector, while the medical, and business sectors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
decreases
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
this ten-year period.

The unemployment rate
also
significantly
dropped during this time. In 2003, approximate-

Possible spelling mistake found.
ly
8%, 3%, and 10% of American adults
were employed
in education training, the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
hotel


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
industry
, and building
respectively
. The figures for these fields all rose to around
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
20% over
the following ten years.
Additionally
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
selfemployed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
almost

tripled, from around 10% to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
30% during the period. In 2013, around a quarter

of the American working population chose to run their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
businesses, which had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
a

two-fold decrease from 2003.
Similarly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentages
of those in the medical industry
also


dropped by half, from 20% to 10%,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the period.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS academic The given bar chart illustrates the percentage of American adults in different fields of employment from 2003 to 2013.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
167 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 6band
    how many hours the employees of a certain financial company spend per year on trainings
    The pie chart shows how many hours the employees of a certain financial company spend per year on trainings. The second chart describes how office workers — managers and secretaries — feel about the trainings. The employees are provided 60 hours of different trainings per year, half of the hours be...
  • 6band
    Line chart task 1 Cambridge
    This line graph demonstrates the amount of traveler choice to travel in railway systems around Great Britain from 1950 to 2004/5. Overall, The National rail network and London Underground shares the similar moving trend while Light rail and metro systems only made some slight changes. As can be see...
  • 6band
    The bar chart illustrates how much free time
    The bar chart illustrates how much free time is available for male and female in different roles during 1998. The units are calibrated in hours per week. Overall, it is evident that more leisure is enjoyed by unemployed and retired workers while it is the least for full time employees. Surprisingly...
  • 6band
    Cherry Jam making process
    The diagram illustrates the whole process, through which the cherry jam is made. It is clear that there are nine main stages including collecting the ingredients, processing steps and packaging, respectively First of all, a sheet is spread on the ground in order to easily protect and gather the che...
  • 6band
    the piictures show the changes
    The diagrams show the developments that had been taken in Shipsmouth over a period 15 years from 1995 to 2010. At first glance, it is noticeable that shipsmouth witnessed a dramatic transformation over the given period, becoming considerably less green and more built up. Looking at the pictures in...
  • 7band
    the pictures show the changes
    The diagrams show the developments that had been taken in Ships mouth over a period 15 years from 1995 to 2010. At first glance, it is noticeable that ships mouth witnessed a dramatic transformation over the given period, becoming considerably less green and more built up. Looking at the pictures ...





Get more results for topic:
  • The given bar chart illustrates the percentage of American adults in different fields of employment from 2003 to 2013.