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The bar charts depict the information about the count of marriage and divorce in the USA and marital status of young people in America between 1970 and 2000.

The bar charts depict the information about the count of marriage and divorce in the USA and marital status of young people in America between 1970 and 2000. 0w5OQ
It can be vividly seen from the first chart that in 1970 the amount of marriage was 2. 5 million which was 1. 5 million more from diverces, this number was remaned in 1980 but divorce was rose by nearly 0. 5 million. In last given year, marriages dropped by 0. 3 million from 1990 and reached on 2 million and divorces alos fall and arrives on 1 million. The second chart shows that highest ratios showed in adult married with 70 percent in 1970 which decreased by 10 percent after 3 decades. Whilst, least proportion of divorces in 1970 with 2 percent which was rose by nearly 5 parcent in 2000. Then, proportion of edult who never married was about 14 percent which doubled from widowed and in 2000 it reached on 20 and 5 percent respectively. Overall, it clear that count of marriage is more then devorces and proportion of marriages and widowed was declined whereas, others was rose.
It can be
vividly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the
first
chart that in 1970 the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
was 2. 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
which was 1. 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
more from
Possible spelling mistake found.
diverces
, this number was
Possible spelling mistake found.
remaned
in 1980
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
divorce was rose by
nearly
0. 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
. In last
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
year,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriages
dropped by 0. 3
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
from 1990 and reached on 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
and divorces
Possible spelling mistake found.
alos
fall and
The usual proposition after "arrives" is "at" not "on". Did you mean "arrives at"?
arrives on
1 million.

The second chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that highest ratios
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
in adult married with 70
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
in 1970 which decreased by 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
after 3 decades. Whilst,
A determiner is probably missing here: "the least".
least
proportion of divorces in 1970 with 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
which was rose by
nearly
5
Possible spelling mistake found.
parcent
in 2000. Then, proportion of
Possible spelling mistake found.
edult
who never married was about 14
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
which doubled from widowed and in 2000 it reached on 20 and 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
respectively
.
Overall
, it
Did you mean "clears"?
clear
that count of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
is more
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
then
Possible spelling mistake found.
devorces
and proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriages
and widowed
was declined
whereas, others was rose.
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IELTS academic The bar charts depict the information about the count of marriage and divorce in the USA and marital status of young people in America between 1970 and 2000.

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
161 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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