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The given bar chart depicts the proportion of Australian dwellers in five cities who bought fresh coffee, instant coffee and or went to a cafe for the last four weeks.

The given bar chart depicts the proportion of Australian dwellers in five cities who bought fresh coffee, instant coffee and or went to a cafe for the last four weeks. KVA61
The given bar chart depicts the proportion of Australian dwellers in five cities who bought fresh coffee, instant coffee and or went to a cafe for the last four weeks. As can be seen, in three out of five cities, the percentage of Australians buying fresh coffee or instant coffee was far lower than that of going to a cafe. On the contrary, the rest recorded the approximate rate in buying instant coffee and going to a cafe, which was much greater than that of buying fresh coffee. Concerning Melbourne and Sydney, the proportion of dwellers buying fresh coffee stood at more or less than 44%. Meanwhile, the figure for buying instant coffee in Melbourne was nearly 50%, which was greater than that in Sydney - more than 45%. People who went to a cafe for coffee or tea accounted for 61% and 64%, respectively, in these city populations. These figures were one-and-a-half times as much as those of buying fresh coffee in their city. In terms of Brisbane, Adelaide and Hobart, the percentage of citizens buying fresh coffee was at average 36%. That of buying instant coffee in Adelaide was the lowest among those in three cities, however, it is the one and only surveyed destination that had more people choosing to buy instant coffee in lieu of buying in a cafe. The figure for going to a cafe in these cities ranged from 60% to almost 65%.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar chart depicts the proportion of Australian dwellers in five
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cities
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
, instant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
and or went to a
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
for the last four weeks.

As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
, in three out of five
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cities
, the percentage of Australians
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buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
or instant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
was far lower than that of going to a
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
.
On the contrary
, the rest recorded the approximate rate in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
instant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
and going to a
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
, which was much greater than that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fresh
coffee.

Concerning Melbourne and Sydney, the proportion of dwellers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
stood at more or less than 44%. Meanwhile, the figure for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
instant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
in Melbourne was
nearly
50%, which was greater than that in Sydney
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
more than 45%.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
who went to a
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
or tea accounted for 61% and 64%,
respectively
, in these city populations. These figures were one-and-a-half times as much as those of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
in their city.

In terms of Brisbane, Adelaide and Hobart, the percentage of citizens
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
was at average 36%. That of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
instant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
in Adelaide was the lowest among those in three
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cities
,
however
, it is the one and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
surveyed destination that had more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
choosing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
instant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
in lieu of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
in a
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
. The figure for going to a
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
ranged from 60% to almost 65%.
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IELTS academic The given bar chart depicts the proportion of Australian dwellers in five cities who bought fresh coffee, instant coffee and or went to a cafe for the last four weeks.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
239 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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