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THE CHART BELOW SHOW THE GLOBAL SALES OF DIFFERENT KINDS OF DIGITAL GAMES FROM 2000 TO 2006.

THE CHART BELOW SHOW THE GLOBAL SALES OF DIFFERENT KINDS OF DIGITAL GAMES FROM 2000 TO 2006. gAQRa
THE BAR CHART ILLUSTRATES THE SELLING OF FOUR TYPES OF DIGITALIZED GAMES (MOBILE PHONE, ONLINE, CONSOLE AND HANDHELD) FROM ALL OVER WORLD IN SIX YEAR FROM 2000 TO 2006. THE UNITS ARE MEASURED IN BILLION DOLLARS. OVERALL, THE SALES OF HANDHELD GAMES, INTERNET AND SMAPRTPHONE ROSES IN GIVEN YEAR WHILST, CONSOLE GAMES DECLINES. IT CAN BE CLEALRY SEEN THAT, THE SELLING AMOUNT OF CONSOLE IS $6 IN BEGGINING SPAN, IT EXPERIENCED STAEDILY DOWNWARD TREND TILL 2003 THEN, REMAINED CONSTANT IN 2004 AND IT DECREASES SHARPLY TO AROUND $3 BILLION. MEANWHILE, SMALL DEVICES SALES START FROM APPROXIMATELY $10 NEXT, IT INCLINES TILL 2004 AND STAYS STEADY FOR ONE YEAR THEN, IT SYROCKETED TO $18 BILLION. THE BAR CHART FUTHER COLLATE THAT, INTERNET GAMING STARTS EARLY WITH NEAR $1 IN 2001 ON THE CONTRARY, TO THE MOBILES BEGIN IN 2002 WITH $2. IN 2003, MOBILE CROSSED THE NUMBER OF ONLINE WITH 3$ AND $2. 5 THEN, IT STAYS CONSTANT IN 2004. THE BILLION SALE OF MOBILE AND WEBSITES GAMING ACCOUNTED FOR $6 AND $5 RESPECTIVELY. IN 2006, BOTH INCREASES BY $3 AND $4 ACCORDINGLY.
THE BAR CHART ILLUSTRATES THE SELLING OF FOUR TYPES OF DIGITALIZED GAMES (MOBILE PHONE, ONLINE, CONSOLE AND HANDHELD) FROM ALL OVER WORLD IN SIX YEAR FROM 2000 TO 2006. THE UNITS
ARE MEASURED
IN
Use "a BILLION" or use a number before 'BILLION'.
BILLION
DOLLARS.

OVERALL
, THE SALES OF HANDHELD GAMES, INTERNET AND
Possible spelling mistake found.
SMAPRTPHONE
ROSES IN
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
GIVEN
YEAR WHILST, CONSOLE GAMES DECLINES.

IT CAN BE
Possible spelling mistake found.
CLEALRY
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
SEEN
THAT, THE SELLING AMOUNT OF CONSOLE IS $6 IN
Possible spelling mistake found.
BEGGINING
SPAN, IT EXPERIENCED
Possible spelling mistake found.
STAEDILY
DOWNWARD TREND TILL 2003 THEN, REMAINED CONSTANT IN 2004 AND IT DECREASES
SHARPLY
TO AROUND $3 BILLION. MEANWHILE,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SMALL
DEVICES SALES
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
START
FROM APPROXIMATELY $10
NEXT
, IT INCLINES TILL 2004 AND STAYS STEADY FOR ONE YEAR THEN, IT
Possible spelling mistake found.
SYROCKETED
TO $18 BILLION.

THE BAR CHART
Possible spelling mistake found.
FUTHER
COLLATE THAT, INTERNET GAMING
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
STARTS
EARLY WITH NEAR $1 IN 2001
ON THE CONTRARY
, TO THE MOBILES
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
BEGIN
IN 2002 WITH $2. IN 2003, MOBILE CROSSED THE NUMBER OF ONLINE WITH
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$3".
3$
AND $2. 5 THEN, IT STAYS CONSTANT IN 2004. THE BILLION SALE OF MOBILE AND WEBSITES GAMING ACCOUNTED FOR $6 AND $5
RESPECTIVELY
. IN 2006, BOTH INCREASES BY $3 AND $4
ACCORDINGLY
.
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IELTS academic THE CHART BELOW SHOW THE GLOBAL SALES OF DIFFERENT KINDS OF DIGITAL GAMES FROM 2000 TO 2006.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
182 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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