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the food habit of Americans

the food habit of Americans R0alV
The charts present the average share of the three nutrients in the daily food habits of Americans. An average American person consumes most of the sodium and saturated fat in his dinner, whereas one takes added sugar mainly at the time of eating snacks in the evening. Sodium has become an integral part of American's food routine. Sodium contributes to 14% of their breakfast and snacks. Lunch and dinner contain a good percentage of sodium as well, which is 29% and 43%, respectively. When an American eats his breakfast and snacks in the evening, he inputs 16% and 21% of his food as sodium and saturated fat, respectively. On the other hand, 26% and 37%, respectively of their food taken in the mid-day and night are made of saturated fat. Snacks consumed by Americans contain 42% of added sugar. Lunch and dinner of Americans contain a decent share of added sugar, which is 19% and 23%, respectively. At the same time, added sugar has only 16% contribution to the breakfast of Americans.
The charts present the average share of the three nutrients in the daily
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food
habits of Americans.

An average American person consumes most of the sodium and saturated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
in his dinner, whereas one takes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
added
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
mainly
at the time of eating snacks in the evening.

Sodium has become an integral part of American's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
routine. Sodium contributes to 14% of their breakfast and snacks. Lunch and dinner contain a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
percentage of sodium
as well
, which is 29% and 43%,
respectively
.

When an American eats his breakfast and snacks in the evening, he inputs 16% and 21% of his
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food
as sodium and saturated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
,
respectively
.
On the other hand
, 26% and 37%,
respectively
of their
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food
taken in the mid-day and night
are made
of saturated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
.

Snacks consumed by Americans contain 42% of
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added
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
. Lunch and dinner of Americans contain a decent share of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
added
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
, which is 19% and 23%,
respectively
. At the same time,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
added
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
16% contribution to the breakfast of Americans.
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IELTS academic the food habit of Americans

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
172 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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