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the films industry revolution and culture and social behaviour could be the same . discuss

the films industry revolution and culture and social behaviour could be the same. discuss nxk6e
The map reveals information about improvement of a village name Ryemouth in between 1995 and present day. There are some significant changes happened in 25 years of long period. In 1995, there were a huge fishing port and fishing market which is situated near the sea and the cafe also there beside of fishing port. Over the main road there were shops and on the right side of it a hotel was located. The main residental area in village were in north-west area. The north-east corner was popular for farmland and beside of it there was a forest park. The present day, there were some essential changes were introduce in long period. the fishing sector replace by appartments near the ocean and shops are changed by restaurant which is over the road. the accomodation are has been spread more over the period. The farmland and forest park replaced by golf court and tennis area. However, the cafe and hotel remain on the same place over this 25 year of period.
The map reveals information about improvement of a village name
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ryemouth
in between 1995 and present day. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
significant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
happened in 25 years of long period.

In 1995, there were a huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fishing
port and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fishing
market which
is situated
near the sea and the
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
also
there beside of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fishing
port.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Over
the main road there were shops and on the right side of it a hotel
was located
. The main
Possible spelling mistake found.
residental
area in village were in north-west area. The north-east corner was popular for farmland and beside of it there was a forest park.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
present day, there were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
essential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
were
Consider using a past participle here: "introduced".
introduce
in long period.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fishing
sector replace by
Possible spelling mistake found.
appartments
near the ocean and shops are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
by restaurant which is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the road.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
accomodation
are has
been spread
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the period. The farmland and forest park replaced by golf court and tennis area.
However
, the
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
and hotel remain on the same place
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
this 25 year of period.
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IELTS academic the films industry revolution and culture and social behaviour could be the same. discuss

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
170 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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