Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

the following line graph shows information about the percentage of global population who own a mobile phone. The bar graph presents the percentage of global mobile users who go online via their phones. Summarize information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

the following line graph shows information about the percentage of global population who own a mobile phone. The bar graph presents the percentage of global mobile users who go online via their phones. 1Od7
The data below, which include a line graph and a bar graph, focus on the usage of mobile phones worldwide from 2012 to 2015. The line graph presents the percentage of users around the globe, while in the bar graph are shown the ways they spend their time online. First of all, around 65% of global population own a mobile phone in 2012. In two years’ time the percentage grows by less than ten points, while the same difference is recorded in only the final year. So, a wider use of phones is noticed by 2015, more specifically more than 80% of people all over the world. Their purposes for going online are examined next, which include emails and internet browsing. It is quite evident that in the last few years internet browsing is more common than checking emails, even though they were equally used in 2012. All in all, the more technology develops the more the percentage of mobile phone users rises. Especially after 2014 that number increased significantly. At the same time, the same conclusion is reached by the line graph as well, along with the fact that internet browsing is the main reason users go online.
The data below, which include a line
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graph
and a bar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graph
, focus on the usage of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
worldwide from 2012 to 2015. The line
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graph
presents the percentage of users around the globe, while in the bar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graph
are shown
the ways they spend their time online.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, around 65% of global population
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
a mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
in 2012. In two years’ time the percentage grows by less than ten points, while the same difference
is recorded
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the final year.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, a wider
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
is noticed
by 2015, more
specifically
more than 80% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
all over the world. Their purposes for going online
are examined
next
, which include emails and internet browsing. It is quite evident that in the last few
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "years'" or "year's"?
years
internet browsing is more common than checking emails,
even though
they were
equally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in 2012.

All in all, the more technology develops the more the percentage of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
users rises.
Especially
after 2014 that number increased
significantly
. At the same time, the same conclusion
is reached
by the line
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graph
as well
, along with the fact that internet browsing is the main reason users go online.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS academic the following line graph shows information about the percentage of global population who own a mobile phone. The bar graph presents the percentage of global mobile users who go online via their phones.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
199 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • the following line graph shows information about the percentage of global population who own a mobile phone. The bar graph presents the percentage of global mobile users who go online via their phones. Summarize information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant