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the pie charts and the table show the types of living accommodation occupied by 25- year-olds

the pie charts and the table show the types of living accommodation occupied by 25- year-olds 6OPG
The pie charts and table compare the 25- year- olds’ accommodation in London and the availability of various kinds of housing in London in the 1990s and 2010s. Overall, the rate of house-sharing, flat-sharing, and with the parent in the 2010s was higher than the one in the 1990s. Besides, except the number of available 3-4 bedroom houses increased, the number of other available housing reduced during the period of the same time. It is clear from the charts show that in the 1990s, only about 50% of those surveyed lived in shared houses or flats, after which this number significantly increased to around 75% in the 2010s. In contrast, there was a drop in the number of people living alone in the house and flat from about 25% to 5% from the 1990s to 2010s. Moreover, living with parents became less common. There was a reduction in the number of 25-year-olds living with parents from approximately a third to under a quarter in this period. The reason for this can be young adults tended to move out of their parents' houses, instead of living alone, they together with other people rented and shared accommodation, so the availability of 1-2 bedroom houses and flats altered. In the 1990s, there were 34000 1-2 bedroom houses, 32000 1-2 bedroom flats, and 3900 3-4 bedroom flats available. This figure decreased to 12000, 10000 and 32000 respectively in the 2010s. We can see the opposite trend in 3-4 bedroom houses. There was a gradual increase to 48. 500. The reason for this can be young adults want to live in larger accommodations, instead of smaller ones
The pie charts and table compare the 25- year- olds’ accommodation in London and the availability of various kinds of housing in London in the 1990s and 2010s.

Overall
, the rate of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
-sharing, flat-sharing, and with the parent in the 2010s was higher than the one in the 1990s.
Besides
, except the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of available 3-4
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bedroom
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
increased, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of other available housing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
during the period of the same time.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from the charts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that in the 1990s,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
about 50% of those surveyed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in shared
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flats
, after which this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
significantly
increased to around 75% in the 2010s.
In contrast
, there was a drop in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
alone in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flat
from about 25% to 5% from the 1990s to 2010s.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
with parents became less common. There was a reduction in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of 25-year-olds
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
with parents from approximately a third to under a quarter in this period. The reason for this can be young adults tended to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
out of their parents'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
,
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
alone, they together with other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
rented and shared accommodation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the availability of 1-2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bedroom
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flats
altered. In the 1990s, there were 34000 1-2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bedroom
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
, 32000 1-2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bedroom
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flats
, and 3900 3-4
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bedroom
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flats
available. This figure decreased to 12000, 10000 and 32000
respectively
in the 2010s. We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the opposite trend in 3-4
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bedroom
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
. There was a gradual increase to 48. 500. The reason for this can be young adults want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in larger accommodations,
instead
of smaller
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
ones
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IELTS academic the pie charts and the table show the types of living accommodation occupied by 25- year-olds

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
271 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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