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The following graph shows the changes in the proportion of food consumption in Great Britain from 1975 to 2000

The following graph shows the changes in the proportion of food consumption in Great Britain from 1975 to 2000 1kwkL
The graph illustrated the change of desert usage in Great Britain in 25 years from 1975. Overall, the consumption of fresh fruit and icecream increased through out these year. However, the sugar intake had significantly decreased. Throughout the first 10 years in this period, the usage of fresh fruit fluctuated. In 1975, it started at 500 grams per person, then rised to 600 grams in 1980, and in the 1985, the figure has dropped to about 520 grams per person per week. The usage of sugar and ice-cream have a steady trend. Sugar had decreased by half of the initial starting figure, from 400 to 200 grams, and ice-cream consumption had increased steadily in this ten years, slowly from 50 grams to nearly 100 grams per person. In the last 15 years, the chart had a slight change in fresh fruit usage. From 1985 to 2000, the number of fruit consumption has rocketed and met its peak at nearly 800 grams per week. Ice-cream also maxed out at 100 grams in 1995 and kept constant to 2000. On the other hand, sugar consumption had continued to drop in 15 years, from 200 to just 100 grams per person per week.
The graph illustrated the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
of desert
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usage
in Great Britain in 25 years from 1975.

Overall
, the
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consumption
of fresh
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fruit
and
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icecream
increased
Did you mean "throughout"?
through out
these
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year
.
However
, the
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sugar
intake had
significantly
decreased.

Throughout the
first
10 years in this period, the
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usage
of fresh
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fruit
fluctuated. In 1975, it
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started
at 500
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grams
per person, then
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "rose", the past tense form of the verb 'rise'?
rised
to 600
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grams
in 1980, and in the 1985, the figure has dropped to about 520
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grams
per person per week. The
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usage
of
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sugar
and
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ice-cream
have a steady trend.
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Sugar
had decreased by half of the initial starting figure, from 400 to 200
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grams
, and
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ice-cream
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consumption
had increased
steadily
in this ten years,
slowly
from 50
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grams
to
nearly
100
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grams
per person.

In the last 15 years, the chart had a slight
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in fresh
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fruit
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usage
. From 1985 to 2000, the number of
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fruit
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consumption
has rocketed and met its peak at
nearly
800
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grams
per week.
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Ice-cream
also
maxed out at 100
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grams
in 1995 and
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kept
constant to 2000.
On the other hand
,
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sugar
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consumption
had continued to drop in 15 years, from 200 to
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just
100
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
per person per week.
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IELTS academic The following graph shows the changes in the proportion of food consumption in Great Britain from 1975 to 2000

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
200 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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