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The following graph and pie chart shows the sales of a company in the first and second qua of the year

The following graph and pie chart shows the sales of a company in the first and second qua of the year ljx01
The given horizotal bar graph and circular chart reveals the information about the sales of a company in particular year in first and second quarter. The information is given in percentum which is clearly and coherently represented. Overall, it is evident that thae sales of toys in second quarter is rise up by 6 times compares to first quarter whereas, the sales of electronic gadgets id fall by 3 times. It can be seen that, in first quarter yhe sales of toys and computer is less as compared to other products inls only 5% and 10%. Moreover, the sales of clothes and food is in the same proportion is 25% more that any other products. In the first quarter, the sales of other and electrical gadgets is 20% and 15% respectively. Apart from that, in the pie chart the sales of second quarter is shown. Firstly, the sales of computer is same as in the first quarter is one ten. Furthermore, the sales of electronic gadgets, food and clothes is reduce from the sale of quarter. The sale of the other products and toys in second quarter is 25% and 30% respectively.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
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horizotal
bar graph and circular chart reveals the information about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
in particular
year in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
and second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quarter
. The information is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
percentum
which is
clearly
and
coherently
represented.

Overall
, it is evident that
Possible spelling mistake found.
thae
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of toys in second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quarter
is rise up by 6 times compares to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quarter
whereas, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of electronic gadgets id fall by 3 times.

It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quarter
Possible spelling mistake found.
yhe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of toys and computer is less
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
products
Possible spelling mistake found.
inls
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
5% and 10%.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of clothes and food is in the same proportion is 25% more that any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
products. In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quarter
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
and electrical gadgets is 20% and 15%
respectively
.

Apart from that, in the pie chart the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quarter
is shown
.
Firstly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of computer is same as in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quarter
is one ten.
Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of electronic gadgets, food and clothes is
Consider using a past participle here: "reduced".
reduce
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sale
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quarter
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sale
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
products and toys in second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quarter
is 25% and 30%
respectively
.
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IELTS academic The following graph and pie chart shows the sales of a company in the first and second qua of the year

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
192 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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