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The following diagram derives from a pie chart which illustrates the intake of three types of nutrients in typical meals.

The following diagram derives from a pie chart which illustrates the intake of three types of nutrients in typical meals. mXO3N
The following diagram derives from a pie chart which illustrates the intake of three types of nutrients in typical meals. The general perspective finds that The three types of nutrients include Sodium, Saturated fats and Added sugar. The most consumed nutrient is Sodium followed by added sugar and then saturated fats. The data is taken from the united states of America. Looking at the details, Sodium consumed during the snacks and the breakfast is the same i. e. 14%. Secondly, USA citizens consume a lot of Sodium (43% and 29%) while having dinner and lunch. Another perspective finds that Compared to the Sodium intake while dinner, Saturated fats consumed slightly lesser by 6%. While eating lunch, breakfast and snacks the sodium and saturated fats are consumed between 29% to 14% which is slightly equal. In a like manner to the previous points, People in the USA make a lot of intake of added sugar in the snacks (42%) followed by dinner(23%)and then breakfast(16%) and lunch (19). Dinner contributes to the consumption of added sugar of 23% which is comparatively less than the sodium and saturated fats consumed during dinner. On a final note, The most nutrient consumed by an average USA person is Sodium and saturated fats by eating dinner and the sugar while having a snack.
The following diagram derives from a pie chart which illustrates the intake of three types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nutrients
in typical meals.

The general perspective finds that The three types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nutrients
include Sodium,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Saturated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fats
and
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Added
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
most
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consumed
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nutrient
is Sodium followed by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
added
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
and then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saturated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fats
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
data
is taken
from the
If the term is a proper noun, use the suggested capitalization.
united states of America
.

Looking at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, Sodium
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consumed
during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
snacks
and the breakfast is the same
There should be no space here: "i.e.".
i. e.
14%.
Secondly
, USA citizens consume
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
Sodium (43% and 29%) while having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dinner
and lunch. Another perspective finds that Compared to the Sodium intake while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dinner
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Saturated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fats
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumed
slightly
lesser by 6%. While eating lunch, breakfast and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
snacks
the sodium and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saturated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fats
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumed
between 29% to 14% which is
slightly
equal.

Consider replacing "In a like manner" with the adverb for "like"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
In a like manner
to the previous points,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
in the USA
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
intake of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
added
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
in the
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snacks
(42%) followed by dinner(23%)and then breakfast(16%) and lunch (19).
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Dinner
contributes to the consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
added
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
of 23% which is
comparatively
less than the sodium and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saturated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fats
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumed
during dinner.

On a final note, The most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nutrient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumed
by an average USA person is Sodium and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saturated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fats
by eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dinner
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
while having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
snack
.

IELTS academic The following diagram derives from a pie chart which illustrates the intake of three types of nutrients in typical meals.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
217 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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