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The bar graph compares the male and female Olympic athletes and the line chart demonstrates the number of Olympics

The bar graph compares the male and female Olympic athletes and the line chart demonstrates the number of Olympics aQo89
The bar graph compares the male and female Olympic athletes and the line chart demonstrates the number of Olympics participants and the different generations of players in from 1924 to 2012. Overall, it’s clear that there was a significant alteration in the number of female and male players in the Olympics, with the number of females players considerably increase. Another noteworthy trend was that the amount of participants has joined during this time hadn’t stopped. First, the majority of sporters approximately 3000 peoples at the initial and it was steadily climbed during the Olympics time. There were reached over 10, 000 players at the end of the events. Additionally, in 1924 the number of males occupied 3000 participates whereas females nearly zero. However, dramatically plummeted to 1500 in 60 years later, women welcome the Olympics. It was less nearly triple time for to men participate in the same years. Conversely, 2012 was a great year when female sporter remarkable increase to 5000 lesser than 1000 male players.
The bar graph compares the male and
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female
Olympic athletes and the line chart demonstrates the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of Olympics participants and the
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different
generations of
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players
in from 1924 to 2012.

Overall
, it’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that there was a significant alteration in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
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female
and male
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players
in the Olympics, with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
considerably
increase. Another noteworthy trend was that the amount of participants has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
during this time hadn’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
.

First
, the majority of
Possible spelling mistake found.
sporters
approximately 3000 peoples at the initial and it was
steadily
climbed during the Olympics time. There
were reached
over 10, 000
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players
at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
.

Additionally
, in 1924 the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
occupied 3000 participates whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
nearly
zero.
However
,
dramatically
plummeted to 1500 in 60 years later, women welcome the Olympics. It was less
nearly
triple time for to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
participate in the same years.
Conversely
, 2012 was a great year when
Possible spelling mistake found.
female sporter
remarkable increase to 5000 lesser than 1000 male
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
.

IELTS academic The bar graph compares the male and female Olympic athletes and the line chart demonstrates the number of Olympics

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
167 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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