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the following chart and table give information of UK cruise passengers in 1975 and 2003

the following chart and table give information of UK cruise passengers in 1975 and 2003 qV7Ww
The table shows the quantity of cruise passengers in 1975 and 2003 while bar chart classifies these passengers by their age. It is apparent that there was an increase in the number of cruise takers over the surveyed period, which is typically reflected by the increase of all ages. What is also noticed is that the age and the number of cruise takers is positive correlated. The later the year, cruise passengers increased dramatically. Noticeably, the number of travelers in 2003 was more than a double of it in 1975 with approximate 400000 people. Over the time frame, the elderly preferred joining ship tourism than the younger people. The first largest cruise takers came from the group older than 64 with 50% in 2003 and vicinity 40% in 1975. Respectively around 35% and 30% were the quantity of passengers that travelled by ship in 2003 and 1975. At last, the youngest group showed their reluctant in travelling by cruise, with merely 5% in 1975 and 10% in 2003.
The table
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the quantity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cruise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passengers
in 1975 and 2003 while bar chart classifies these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passengers
by their age. It is apparent that there was an increase in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cruise
takers over the surveyed period, which is
typically
reflected by the increase of all ages. What is
also
noticed is that the age and the number of
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cruise
takers is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
correlated.

Duplicated 'the' in the phrase: 'The later the'. Did you mean "later the"?
The later the
year,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cruise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passengers
increased
dramatically
.
Noticeably
, the number of travelers in 2003 was more than a double of it in 1975 with approximate 400000
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Over the time frame, the elderly preferred joining ship tourism than the younger
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. The
first
largest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cruise
takers came from the group older than 64 with 50% in 2003 and vicinity 40% in 1975.
Respectively
around 35% and 30% were the quantity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passengers
that travelled by ship in 2003 and 1975. At last, the youngest group
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
their reluctant in travelling by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cruise
, with
merely
5% in 1975 and 10% in 2003.
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IELTS academic the following chart and table give information of UK cruise passengers in 1975 and 2003

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
168 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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