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The following bar chart demonstrates the number of female over 100 male admitted to various levels of campus schooling.

The following bar chart demonstrates the number of female over 100 male admitted to various levels of campus schooling. In general, the number of girls who got enrolled in school education increased. Furthermore, the gap in the enrollment figure of girls between less developed countries and developed countries enlarged in high-level education in comparing to low-level education. In developing countries, the figure for girls receiving tertiary education was the lowest, while that in primary education is the highest. However, in developed countries, the order of enrollment figures ranging from tertiary education to primary education has conversed. In particular, the number in developed countries of tertiary education has exceeded 100, which surpassed the target. Also, from 1990 to 1998, the rise in female education enrollment figures have inched upwards in primary education but had considerable growth in tertiary education. However, in developed nations, the rising trend was not as obvious as that in poor nations.
The following bar chart demonstrates the number of female over 100 male admitted to various levels of campus schooling.

In general
, the number of girls who
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got
enrolled in school
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education
increased.
Furthermore
, the gap in the enrollment
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figure
of girls between less
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developed
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countries
and
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developed
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countries
enlarged in high-level
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education
in comparing to low-level education.

In developing
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countries
, the
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figure
for girls receiving tertiary
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education
was the lowest, while that in primary
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education
is the highest.
However
, in
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developed
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countries
, the order of enrollment
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figures
ranging from tertiary
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education
to primary
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education
has conversed.
In particular
, the number in
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developed
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countries
of tertiary
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education
has exceeded 100, which surpassed the target.

Also
, from 1990 to 1998, the rise in female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
enrollment
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figures
have inched upwards in primary
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education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
had considerable growth in tertiary
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education
.
However
, in
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developed
nations, the rising trend was not as obvious as that in poor nations.
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IELTS academic The following bar chart demonstrates the number of female over 100 male admitted to various levels of campus schooling.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
154 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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