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The flow chart elucidates the process of saltwater treatment by deliverance of salt from it. There are basic stages of processing before water is fit for drinking.

The flow chart elucidates the process of saltwater treatment by deliverance of salt from it. There are basic stages of processing before water is fit for drinking. 86xWP
The flow chart elucidates the process of saltwater treatment by deliverance of salt from it. There are basic stages of processing before water is fit for drinking. First of all, seawater flows via a pipe to the first stage of a pre-treatment filter, where being under explosure of processing, is disjoined to debris, sending them back to the sea as backwash, and to the quite treated water, directed to the next filter. Saltwater is subsequently forced through a membrance at high pressure so as to detach salt and other undrinkable dashes from water molecules by returning them back to the sea as seawater concentrate. Afterwards, freshwater is post-treated by adding various elements such as lime, chlorine and flouride, in order to kill any harmful bacteria, minimizing its risk to people's health. Thereafter, refined water is stored in warehouses before it is purveyed for minor trade points. Overall, after such multistage process, through physical and chemical purification, water is ready for safe utilization.
The flow chart elucidates the process of saltwater treatment by deliverance of salt from it. There are basic stages of processing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is fit
for drinking.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, seawater flows via a pipe to the
first
stage of a pre-treatment filter, where being under
Possible spelling mistake found.
explosure
of processing, is
Possible spelling mistake found.
disjoined
to debris, sending them back to the sea as backwash, and to the quite treated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
, directed to the
next
filter. Saltwater is
subsequently
forced through a
Possible spelling mistake found.
membrance
at high pressure
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
detach salt and other undrinkable dashes from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
molecules by returning them back to the sea as seawater concentrate. Afterwards, freshwater is post-treated by adding various elements such as lime, chlorine and
Possible spelling mistake found.
flouride
, in order to kill any harmful bacteria, minimizing its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's health. Thereafter, refined
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is stored
in warehouses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
it
is purveyed
for minor trade points.

Overall
, after such multistage process, through physical and chemical purification,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is ready for safe utilization.
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IELTS academic The flow chart elucidates the process of saltwater treatment by deliverance of salt from it. There are basic stages of processing before water is fit for drinking.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
162 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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