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The first pie chart illustrates the percentages of various purposes that electricity utilized for in an average Australian household.

The first pie chart illustrates the percentages of various purposes that electricity utilized for in an average Australian household. BJXGw
The first pie chart illustrates the percentages of various purposes that electricity utilized for in an average Australian household. The second chart depicts the proportion of greenhouse gas emissions which were caused by the methods electricty consumption that correlates with the other graph. Overall, it is clearly seen that, heating covers up the most of the energy usage and gas emission. In addition to that, remaining ways of consumption does not result in hight amounts of electricty usage. However, more than half of the total gas release is constituted from these factors. Firstly, 42% and 30% the energy usage is caused by the heating of the households and water heating, respectively. Furthermore, almost one-seventh and one-third of the emissions are the eventual result of these sequentially. On top of that, refrigeration makes up 7% of the electricity requirement although, its gas emission covers the twice of the total release. It is observed in the graphs that for other appliances and lighting, percentage of electricity usage were 15% and 4%, respectively. The former caused slightly higher than the quarter of the gas emission, the proportion for the latter is 8%. Finally, cooling contributes to the energy use with a very tiny proportion which is 2%. Moreover, it causes almost an equal rate of gas release which is the 3% of the total emission.
The
first
pie chart illustrates the percentages of various purposes that electricity utilized for in an average Australian household. The second chart depicts the proportion of greenhouse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emissions
which
were caused
by the methods
Possible spelling mistake found.
electricty
consumption that correlates with the other graph.

Overall
, it is
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that, heating covers up the most of the energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emission
.
In addition
to that, remaining ways of consumption does not result in
Possible spelling mistake found.
hight
amounts of
Possible spelling mistake found.
electricty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
.
However
, more than half of the total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
release
is constituted
from these factors.

Firstly
, 42% and 30% the energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
is caused
by the heating of the households and water heating,
respectively
.
Furthermore
, almost one-seventh and one-third of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emissions
are the eventual result of these
sequentially
.
On top of that
, refrigeration
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
up 7% of the electricity requirement although, its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emission
covers the twice of the total release.

It
is observed
in the graphs that for other appliances and lighting, percentage of electricity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
were 15% and 4%,
respectively
. The former caused
slightly
higher than the quarter of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emission
, the proportion for the latter is 8%.
Finally
, cooling contributes to the energy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
with a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
tiny proportion which is 2%.
Moreover
, it causes almost an equal rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
release which is the 3% of the total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emission
.
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IELTS academic The first pie chart illustrates the percentages of various purposes that electricity utilized for in an average Australian household.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
222 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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