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Post school qualifications on Australia

Post school qualifications on Australia VBbQD
According to the chart it is strongly illustrated both gender's of proportion in 1999 in Australia. It is known that this country is quite developed and educated now. First of all, the government demanded Vocational Diplomas for male cause of earning money and looked after their family. The percentage of male Who skilled Vocational Diploma rose steadily 90% than female. However, getting undergraduate Diploma reached 70% by female whe male got 30%. Despite of this result, male took superiority on their own hand by taking Bachelor's Degree which consisted of 45% but female's result decreased 50% than undergraduate. Moreover, majority male wanted to continue their studies so that their percentage rised significantly 70% when female got 30%. This category increased rapidly and male's percentage was 60% in Masters. Hoever famele reached 40%. To conclude this issue, both genders are equal in our society. Even male's percentage is higher, female tried to get many achievement. This goal will be studied by scients.
According to the chart it is
strongly
illustrated both
Incorrect plural form; it does not need any apostrophe. Did you mean "genders"?
gender's
of proportion in 1999 in Australia. It
is known
that this country is quite developed and educated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
demanded Vocational Diplomas for male cause of earning money and looked after their family. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of male Who skilled Vocational Diploma rose
steadily
90% than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
.
However
, getting undergraduate Diploma reached 70% by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
Possible spelling mistake found.
whe
male
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
30%.
Did you mean "Despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
Despite of
this result, male took superiority on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
hand by taking Bachelor's Degree which consisted of 45%
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
female's result decreased 50% than undergraduate.
Moreover
, majority male wanted to continue their studies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "rose", the past tense form of the verb 'rise'?
rised
significantly
70% when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
30%. This category increased
rapidly
and male's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
was 60% in Masters.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hoever
Possible spelling mistake found.
famele
reached 40%.
To conclude
this issue, both genders are equal in our society. Even male's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
is higher,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
tried to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Possible agreement error. The noun achievement seems to be countable; consider using: "many achievements".
many achievement
. This goal will
be studied
by
Possible spelling mistake found.
scients
.
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IELTS academic Post school qualifications on Australia

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
161 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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