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Survey of cultural activites

Survey of cultural activites MMJlk
The graphs shows some cultural activities where boys and girls both participate. The first graph shows the boys activities and the second one shows the girls activities; basketball was very popular in beneath boys, while dancing in girls. Actually, these were the highest results in the survey, while the lowest activities were reading, 2% (in boys graph) and listening to music, which was a 10% in both graphs, boys and girls. Computer games is one of the most popular activities in the boys survey, showing a 34%, while in girls was only a 16%. We can also see that soccer and gymnastics are almost the same in the graphs, 17% of soccer answers in the boys graph, while 11% in gymnastics in girls graph.
The
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graphs
You should probably use "show".
shows
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some
cultural
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activities
where
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boys
and
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girls
both participate. The
first
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graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
and the second one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
; basketball was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular in beneath
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
, while dancing in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
. Actually, these were the highest results in the survey, while the lowest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
were reading, 2% (in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graph)
and listening to music, which was a 10% in both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graphs
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
. Computer games is one of the most popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
survey, showing a 34%, while in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a 16%. We can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that soccer and gymnastics are almost the same in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graphs
, 17% of soccer answers in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graph
, while 11% in gymnastics in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graph
.
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IELTS academic Survey of cultural activites

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
124 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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