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The first pie chart illustrates the percentage of energy used for household appliances in an average Australian while the second pie chart presents the quantity of greenhouse gases emissions resulting from these devices.

The first pie chart illustrates the percentage of energy used for household appliances in an average Australian while the second pie chart presents the quantity of greenhouse gases emissions resulting from these devices. nXYr2
The first pie chart illustrates the percentage of energy used for household appliances in an average Australian while the second pie chart presents the quantity of greenhouse gases emissions resulting from these devices. Overall, while heating and water heating account for a significant proportion of energy, water heating contributes the most greenhouse gas emission. Regarding the first chart, heating and water heating are the two largest uses of total energy, at 42% and 30% respectively. On the other hand, there are merely 7% of total energy used by refrigerators, followed by the figures for cooling and lighting, with 2% and 4%. The remaining energy is primarily used for other appliances, at 15%. As regards the second chart, while the quantity of gas emissions coming from water heating is the highest, at 30% of total, the opposite is true for cooling and lighting, with only 11%. Although heating contributes the greatest proportion of energy consumed, only 15% of total greenhouse gas emissions are emitted, compared with 14% for refrigerators. Other devices cause 28% of total gas emissions.
The
first
pie
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chart
illustrates the percentage of
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energy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for household appliances in an average Australian while the second pie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
presents the quantity of greenhouse gases
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emissions
resulting from these devices.

Overall
, while
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heating
and
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water
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heating
account for a significant proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
,
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water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
contributes the most greenhouse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
emission.

Regarding the
first
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chart
,
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heating
and
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water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
are the two largest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
of
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total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
, at 42% and 30%
respectively
.
On the other hand
, there are
merely
7% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by refrigerators, followed by the figures for cooling and lighting, with 2% and 4%. The remaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
is
primarily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for other appliances, at 15%.

As regards the second
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chart
, while the quantity of
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gas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emissions
coming from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
is the highest, at 30% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
, the opposite is true for cooling and lighting, with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
11%. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
contributes the greatest proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
consumed,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
15% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
greenhouse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emissions
are emitted
, compared with 14% for refrigerators. Other devices cause 28% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emissions
.
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IELTS academic The first pie chart illustrates the percentage of energy used for household appliances in an average Australian while the second pie chart presents the quantity of greenhouse gases emissions resulting from these devices.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
176 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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