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Line graph illustrates the temperature of three cities and table shows amount of sunshine Recieved by three cities in one year.

Line graph illustrates the temperature of three cities and table shows amount of sunshine Recieved by three cities in one year. Bw1Gd
The average monthly temperatures of three Different cities namely London, New York and Sydney from the month of January to December is depicted in the grap. Overall the graph shows some fluctuations in all the three cities. To begin with, Newyork accounted for 5 degree by the beginning of the year and further surged to 8% in March and then it gradually raised crossing both Sydney and London and reached to the peak in July. Then, it significantly dropped its temperature and reached the same degree as in the beginning. In addition, London which almost followed the same pattern as New York from the beginning to march. Further it significantly raised its value and reached lesser than the temperature of New York in July and then it reduced to 10% by the end of month. To continue, Sydney which showed an higher degree of temperature around 25 degree in january remain static until march, but it further slightly dropped its value to 16 degree by the month of July and then slowly surged and reached the same degree as in the month of january. The table provides information about the total Sunshine received by three cities in a year. Newyork received more Sunshine around 2353 followed by Sydney. London recieved the least amount of sunshine in the year around 1180.
The average monthly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
temperatures
of three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Different
cities
namely
London, New York and Sydney from the month of January to December
is depicted
in the
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grap
.
Overall
the graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fluctuations in all the three cities.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Newyork
accounted for 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
by the beginning of the year and
further
surged to 8% in March and then it
gradually
raised crossing both Sydney and London and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reached
to the peak in July. Then, it
significantly
dropped its
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temperature
and
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reached
the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
as in the beginning.
In addition
, London which almost followed the same pattern as New York from the beginning to march.
Further
it
significantly
raised its value and
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reached
lesser than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
temperature
of New York in July and then it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
to 10% by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of month.

To continue, Sydney which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
higher
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degree
of
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temperature
around 25
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degree
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
january
remain static until
The month "March" needs to be capitalized.
march
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
further
slightly
dropped its value to 16
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
by the month of July and then
slowly
surged and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reached
the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
as in the month of
Possible spelling mistake found.
january
.

The table provides information about the total Sunshine received by three cities in a year.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Newyork
received more Sunshine around 2353 followed by Sydney. London
Possible spelling mistake found.
recieved
the least amount of sunshine in the year around 1180.
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IELTS academic Line graph illustrates the temperature of three cities and table shows amount of sunshine Recieved by three cities in one year.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
220 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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