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Reading journal: The book of Genesis

Reading journal: The book of Genesis Lbe6K
The book of Genesis is the demonstration of the form of the earth with living materials, creatures, and humans. The book has explained the very fundamental origin of the familiar surroundings such as sky, day and night, plants, animals, and especially human beings. For the religious meanings, the book of Genesis has successfully depicted the holy image of mighty God, the Man who holds such ultimate power towards everything in the universe. Concerning the mythology aspect, the text has provided very detailed explanations for the constructions of what has formed our living for today’s world, and also the existence of humans which modern science has not come up with confirmation but a hypothesis. The image of humans illustrated in the text is said to be based on the likeness of God, the greatest dominance, supporting the fact that since the beginning of existence, humans have been blessed with the right to conquer other living things made by God, their like correspondence in appearance and this raises a concern about the rights of such superior species, humans. Considering the story of the tree of knowledge and the actions of the first two humans, it can be understood that humans have free will to, or not to, acquire the knowledge of the world, however, they have to take full responsibility for the knowledge they have gotten and the sufferings when having wider and bigger visions on divergent aspects in life is inevitable. The punishment from God to the first two humans is, indeed, utterly relatable to the role of men and women in a society where masculine domination has been happening, and the stereotype of the male breadwinner is still ubiquitous these days. The Book of Genesis has also stated the sin of jealousy from the story of Cain and Abel, and the illustrated sinful image of Cain has some similarities to the current situation of religious terrorism in modern society when the excuse of religion has been blindly utilized to carry out wars, murders, and etcetera. Reading this provokes a thinking of whether people really follow the ideas of myth or just adjust the lessons from myth to benefit their own life with an excuse.
The
If the term is a proper noun, use the suggested capitalization.
book of Genesis
is the demonstration of the form of the earth with living materials, creatures, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
fundamental origin of the familiar surroundings such as sky, day and night, plants, animals, and
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings. For the religious meanings, the
If the term is a proper noun, use the suggested capitalization.
book of Genesis
has
successfully
depicted the holy image of mighty God, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Man
who holds such ultimate power towards everything in the universe. Concerning the mythology aspect, the text has provided
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
detailed explanations for the constructions of what has formed our living for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world, and
also
the existence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
which modern science has not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with confirmation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a hypothesis. The image of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
illustrated in the text
is said
to
be based
on the likeness of God, the greatest dominance, supporting the fact that since the beginning of existence,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
have
been blessed
with the right to conquer other living things made by God, their like correspondence in appearance and this raises a concern about the rights of such superior species,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
. Considering the story of the tree of knowledge and the actions of the
first
two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
, it can
be understood
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
have free will to, or not to, acquire the knowledge of the world,
however
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take full responsibility for the knowledge they have gotten and the sufferings when having wider and bigger visions on divergent aspects in life is inevitable. The punishment from God to the
first
two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
is,
indeed
,
utterly
relatable to the role of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women in a society where masculine domination has been happening, and the stereotype of the male breadwinner is
still
ubiquitous these days. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Book
of Genesis has
also
stated the sin of jealousy from the story of Cain and Abel, and the illustrated sinful image of Cain has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
similarities to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
situation of religious terrorism in modern society when the excuse of religion has been
blindly
utilized to carry out wars, murders, and etcetera. Reading this provokes a thinking of whether
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
really
follow the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
of myth or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
adjust the lessons from myth to benefit their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
life with an excuse.
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IELTS academic Reading journal: The book of Genesis

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
364 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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