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The first graph displays the proportion of households that electrical appliances owned people in one country between 1920 to 2019.

The first graph displays the proportion of households that electrical appliances owned people in one country between 1920 to 2019. gWNrd
The first graph displays the proportion of households that electrical appliances owned people in one country between 1920 to 2019. While the second graph illustrates how much time households in that country spent doing housework per week during the same period. Here I will shorten the information and report the main features where relevant. To begin with, look at the first illustration, three electrical components have been used from 1920 to 2019, which was indicated to increase during this period. While, at the same time, the amount of time spent on housework was decreased. Washing machines were the most common of the three electrical appliances in 1920, which were owned by 40% of the population. The number rose to about 75% in 2019, with a slight dip in 1980. Vacuum cleaners owned nearly 30% of the people in 1920. Although ownership grew up steadily, it didn’t reach 100% until 2000. Turn to remain data set, Almost 40% of people had a refrigerator in 1920. However, ownership was increased gradually, and all of the people who owned the refrigerator 100% in 2000. The amount of time spent doing housework, by contrast, First fell significantly from 50 to 15 hours per week between 1920 to 1980. After that, It had dropped 10 hours per week in 2019.
The
first
graph displays the proportion of households that electrical appliances
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in one country
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 1920 and 2019".
between 1920 to 2019
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
the second graph illustrates how much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
households in that country spent doing housework per week during the same period. Here I will shorten the information and report the main features where relevant.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, look at the
first
illustration, three electrical components have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
from 1920 to 2019, which
was indicated
to increase during this period. While, at the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
spent on housework
was decreased
.

Washing machines were the most common of the three electrical appliances in 1920, which were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owned
by 40% of the population. The number rose to about 75% in 2019, with a slight dip in 1980. Vacuum cleaners
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owned
nearly
30% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in 1920. Although ownership grew up
steadily
, it didn’t reach 100% until 2000.

Turn to remain data set, Almost 40% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had a refrigerator in 1920.
However
, ownership
was increased
gradually
, and
Consider using "all the".
all of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owned
the refrigerator 100% in 2000.

The amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
spent doing housework, by contrast,
First
fell
significantly
from 50 to 15 hours per week
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 1920 and 1980".
between 1920 to 1980
. After that, It had dropped 10 hours per week in 2019.
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IELTS academic The first graph displays the proportion of households that electrical appliances owned people in one country between 1920 to 2019.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
215 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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