Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The first chart gives information about money spent bi British people

The first chart gives information about money spent bi British people yLDxD
The first figure provides data about how much money was outlaid by parents per month on their children's sport activities, while the second figure shows how many children took part in three different sports. The time periods of both charts are the same (from 2008 to 2014). Looking at information, the overall increase of expenditure is steady, with no fluctuations at all. In 2008, though, there was the least amount of money spent 20 pounds and by the following 2 years it rose by around 5 pounds, then in 2014 it went over 30 pounds. In terms of numbers of children joining three sports, football was by far the most popular sport activity. More than 7. 5 million children participated in 2008, whereas the respective figures of Swimming and Athletics were about 1 and 2 millions. However, over the six-year-period the numbers of visit arose considerably. Increase by 2. 5 million in Swimming and five-fold rose in Athletics were recorded. When the figures in football went up by just 1. 5 millon.
The
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
provides data about how much money was outlaid by parents per month on their children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
activities, while the second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
took part
in three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. The time periods of both charts are the same (from 2008 to 2014).

Looking at information, the
overall
increase of expenditure is steady, with no fluctuations at all. In 2008, though, there was the least amount of money spent
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
20 pounds
and by the following 2 years it rose by around
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
5 pounds
, then in 2014 it went over
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
30 pounds
.

In terms of numbers of children joining three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, football was by far the most popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
activity. More than 7. 5 million children participated in 2008, whereas the respective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figures
of Swimming and Athletics were about 1 and 2 millions.
However
, over the six-year-period the numbers of visit arose
considerably
. Increase by 2. 5 million in Swimming and five-fold rose in Athletics
were recorded
.
“When” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
When
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figures
in football went up by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
1. 5
Possible spelling mistake found.
millon
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS academic The first chart gives information about money spent bi British people

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
172 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • The first chart gives information about money spent bi British people