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The first chart below shows the results of a survey which sampled a cross-section of 100,000 people asking if they traveled abroad and why they traveled for the period 1994-98. The second chart shows their destinations over the same period.

The first chart below shows the results of a survey which sampled a cross-section of 100, 000 people asking if they traveled abroad and why they traveled for the period 1994-98. The second chart shows their destinations over the same period. DlomE
The first chart examines the amount of people and the reasons of their travel in the years 1994-1998. The second one presents their destination over the same period. Overall, holiday is main choice of travelers and the year 1998 holds the first place with 28828 people. The destination that most people deside to go to is Western Europe. Business shows a slight increase during the years starting from 3155 in 1994 and reaching 3957 in 1998. Visits to friends an relatives follows almost the same pattern as holiday with a slip back in 1995 - 2628 and 14898 respectivily - and a continued rise that reached 3181 and 20700. Other reasons show fluctuation with increases and decreases and a peak of 1054 in 1997 and a through of 896 in 1995. The total amount also fluctuates in the period 1994-1996 and a leap follows with a highest oin of 28828 in 1998. Most people tend to travel to Western Europe with almost 25000 people in 1998. Other areas show marginal changes and North America goes down and up in the years 1994-1998.
The
first
chart examines the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and the reasons of their travel in the years 1994-1998. The second one presents their destination over the same period.

Overall
, holiday is main choice of travelers and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1998 holds the
first
place with 28828
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. The destination that most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Possible spelling mistake found.
deside
to go to is Western Europe.

Business
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
a slight increase during the years starting from 3155 in 1994 and reaching 3957 in 1998. Visits to friends
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
relatives follows almost the same pattern as holiday with a slip back in
Consider using an n-dash (half dash), if you want to indicate numerical ranges or time ranges.
1995 - 2628
and 14898
Possible spelling mistake found.
respectivily
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
and a continued rise that reached 3181 and 20700. Other reasons
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
fluctuation with increases and decreases and a peak of 1054 in 1997 and
The phrase 'a through of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'a' and 'of'.
a through of
896 in 1995. The total amount
also
fluctuates in the period 1994-1996 and a leap follows with
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
highest
Possible spelling mistake found.
oin
of 28828 in 1998.

Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to travel to Western Europe with almost 25000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in 1998. Other areas
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
marginal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
and North America goes down and up in the years 1994-1998.
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IELTS academic The first chart below shows the results of a survey which sampled a cross-section of 100, 000 people asking if they traveled abroad and why they traveled for the period 1994-98. The second chart shows their destinations over the same period.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
182 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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