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The graph below shows the participation of Australian children in sports outside school hours in 2014.

The graph below shows the participation of Australian children in sports outside school hours in 2014. pR12y
The vertical graph provided below describes the participation of Australian children in sports outside school hours in 2014. The sports activities include swimming, football, netball, basketball and no sports. It is crystal clear from the graph that 13% of boys and around 16% of girls participated in swimming. 20% of boys and 9% of girls participated in football. Only 2% of boys and 18% of girls participated in netball. Approximate 8% of boys and 7% of girls took part in basketball. Around 4% of boys and 5% of girls did not participate in any sports activity. It can be concluded that highest percentage of boys took part in football and basketball. There was a huge difference between the percentage of boys and girls participated in netball. Around 5% of boys and girls didn't take part sports activity.
The vertical graph provided below
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describes
the participation of Australian children in
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sports
outside school hours in 2014. The
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sports
activities include swimming, football, netball, basketball and no sports.

It is crystal
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clear
from the graph that 13% of
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boys
and around 16% of
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girls
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participated
in swimming. 20% of
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boys
and 9% of
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girls
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
participated
in football.
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Only
2% of
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boys
and 18% of
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girls
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participated
in netball. Approximate 8% of
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boys
and 7% of
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girls
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
took part
in basketball. Around 4% of
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boys
and 5% of
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girls
did not participate in any
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sports
activity.

It can
be concluded
that highest percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
took part
in football and basketball. There was a huge difference between the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
participated
in netball. Around 5% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
didn't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
activity.
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IELTS academic The graph below shows the participation of Australian children in sports outside school hours in 2014.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
137 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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