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The first chart below shows the percentages of school-aged girls and boys who were at secondary school in four regions of the world in 2000. The second chart shows the percentages of college-aged men and women in higher education in the same year

The first chart below shows the percentages of school-aged girls and boys who were at secondary school in four regions of the world in 2000. The second chart shows the percentages of college-aged men and women in higher education in the same year b3KXY
The first graph illustrates the proportion of school-aged in both genders who were in secondary education in four different continents of the world in 2000. Besides, the second bar chart depicts the number of men and women at college-aged who studied higher education simultaneously. As it is shown, Europe has the highest percentage in both secondary education and higher education. While Sub-Sahara Africa holds the lowest percentage among the four regions. Europe and Latin America are the two regions that have the greatest number of education ratings. The number of boys who go to secondary school in Europe is twofold higher than that of Latin America. Moreover, the number of European girls taking secondary education is 40% higher than the analysis shown in Latin America. In colleges and universities, the number of male in Europe are three times greater than male in America. A similar trend could be seen in the female that 70% of them in Europe go to colleges while this percentage in America is only 15% In Sub-Saharan Africa and Asia, the number of people of both sexes who go to university is only under 10%. Meanwhile, the number of Asian boys who go to secondary school is two times larger than in Africa. The girls take secondary education is nearly 60% and much bigger than that of Asia
The
first
graph illustrates the proportion of school-aged in both genders
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who
were in
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secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in four
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different
continents of the world in 2000.
Besides
, the second bar chart depicts the
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number
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women at college-aged
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who
studied higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
simultaneously
.

As it
is shown
, Europe has the highest percentage in both
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secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
Sub-Sahara Africa holds the lowest percentage among the four regions.

Europe and Latin America are the two regions that have the greatest
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number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
ratings. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of boys
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secondary
school in Europe is twofold higher than that of Latin America.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of European girls taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is 40% higher than the analysis shown in Latin America. In colleges and universities, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of male in Europe are three times greater than male in America. A similar trend could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the female that 70% of them in Europe go to colleges while this percentage in America is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
15%

In Sub-Saharan Africa and Asia, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of both sexes
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who
go to university is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
under 10%. Meanwhile, the
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number
of Asian boys
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secondary
school is two times larger than in Africa. The girls take
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secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is
nearly
60% and much bigger than that of
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
Asia
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IELTS academic The first chart below shows the percentages of school-aged girls and boys who were at secondary school in four regions of the world in 2000. The second chart shows the percentages of college-aged men and women in higher education in the same year

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
221 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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